seems i attract every aggressive driver in this (otherwise) quaint (uppermiddleclass privilegedwhite) town. stale suits swerving madly, calling me a cunt. WHY. cause i've got MD tags? . every morning a man who threatened to kill me idles his red car in the fire lane, dropping off a woman who takes our train.

there ( Read more... )

truer times were certain when ( Read more... )

my fiancé embodies all a lady/girl/woman needs craves cries longs bleeds laughs claws seeks prays risks begs for in every fantasy reality vision wish fiction fact thought breath ( Read more... )

in off white ( Read more... )

with ( Read more... )

 love makes a sticky metaphor
in searching
through piles of people
for a familiar face
i've smeared on eyes
sketched on ears
taped up the poise
i thought i would hold
but the shreds of plastic
peeled up and the rain
leaked on the page
already coated with
eraser dust. the last 
drawn out, clung to
the wrong medium.

the pen drips ashes.
clay slabs aren't bleeding.
( Read more... )

 i dread/loathe/cringe at having to make decisions.  i fill with regret at a wrong turn.  double-booking myself is such a nasty habit.  and so when the choice must be made, between things or places or even people.  i'd rather retreat, seclude myself from the positive and negative outcomes.  i don't deserve the former, and the latter finds me ( Read more... )

 "i cannot write, make love, fuck... my lover is dying, my brother is dying, i am killing them both." -sarah kane.  how wholly her words resonate with me.  they're not my words.  (i have no brothers to speak for.)  but for her gifts, i struggle to say anything except, thank you.

there's a lot of uselessness about me.
while all else is running around ( Read more... )

yesterday i spent time cleaning floors that i will never walk on again.
scrubbed away a decade at least of yellowish coating, yes piss.
the tiles have flecks of pearl gleaming/scattered in the pattern.  i hadn't noticed before.

bathing in the blue tub then that's now
empty but for rusty water stains
sitting on the edge of it
overgrown and tainted, unkept ( Read more... )