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I "started" Cuesta again. First time in 5 years. I psyched myself out though, and have been to only one class so far, and it was Poli-Sci, U.S. Gov't. Which I'm confused as to why I had to take it in high-school if it was required in College. If I could do this life over again, I would skip out on high-school again for sure, but I would start at ( Read more... ) -
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I am ashamed to say I've cried today. I am proud to say I've smoked one cig today. I am sad to say I've lost weight. Everything tastes weird. I would like to go to the doctor's when I get home, but since I don't have insurance I will have to go to my mom's work, California Health Ctr., and the doctors there are more interested in getting you in and ( Read more... ) -
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I tried the effervescent heated blanket, and it stayed with me until morning. I tried the ice shards that give you butterflies in your skin. I tried them both within 2 days of each other. I can't say that I am worse for it. I can't really say anything about either of them ( Read more... ) -
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It's interesting... how one who has never had an addiction problem can possibly relate to a client. Sure wish Kara would just go to beauty school since she can gossip and play dress-up all day. -
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Are you wasting away in your skin ( Read more... ) -
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I can't sleep. I think the sinus infection I got when I was 15 never went away, and these 9 years it flares up when I am living more unhealthy than normal. Reading my past entries puts this thought into my head. I also think that I've been distracting myself with boys and sex for far too long. 10 years too long. Definitely seems like a fitting time ( Read more... ) -
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It's funny reading all these old entries. I can't imagine the person that I used to be. Reading words that I typed so fervently. It's odd ( Read more... ) -
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ANGER. The feeling does not come through in letters or words. Just makes me feel... less.
I want to scream and bash and kill. Let the anger rise and flood over. But instead I feel like utter and complete shit.
Rationality is not needed. I'll let that train ride another time. -
Illinois
I listened to sufjan stevens' 'Chicago' as i drifted off to sleep finally around 5 this morning. I haven't been able to sleep or eat well since we got here. It doesn't help that i cut weed from my diet cold turkey or cut down on the cigs. It also doesn't help that my grandpa and maxine are old and eating mush food. Doesn't appeal to me, thanks. So ( Read more... ) -
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I forgot what I was going to say.
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