When I saw my psychiatrist last week he told me I had been bumped by an anorexic woman who needed an emergency hospitalization for medical reasons obviously.  Wanna know something weird?  Like the weirdest thing you've heard all year?  That woman is the mother of the nanny who is taking over for me.  IT'S SO WEIRD I cannot get my head around it.  I ( Read more... )

 Knowing that I'm going to IP in a few weeks has certainly not made things easier...it's made things much harder.  I don't enjoy my insane binges, they feel pointless.  BUT I CAN'T STOP!!  On onehand, I want the time so I can b/p 'cause I know it's going to be my last soon, but on the other, I just want it to be over.  And I've completely stopped ( Read more... )

 Yesterday ( Read more... )

 Things are so crazy right now.  I went and saw this new person on friday, she's a nurse but does this amazing therapy that sounds completely crazy but seriously once the world realizes this is all you need, big pharma is hooped.  Anyway i was so preoccupied with being blasted this weekend that I haven't even had time to think of food really.  ( Read more... )

 Last night I had a girls night with some friends.  It was really fun, and I purged once because my stomach kinda hurt, but was quite content so didn't worry about it after.  In the morning, we made banana pancakes, which I had to restrain myself from binging on, and smoothies.  I had two, so I still felt okay about it (I know I'm totally slacking ( Read more... )

I've been away for two weeks (and with no internet). I was visiting my friend who is bulimic, as am I, currently. And I don't just mean bulimic, I mean severely eating disordered and seriously fucked-up. We met in treatment a few years back, and we've become the best of friends outside all the ED crapola ( Read more... )

I'm always wondering what other people think of me, cause like at school I'm really quiet, I'm older than everyone, I never talk to anyone, don't have any friends, work diligently, top marks in every class. But it's all by choice -I don't resent not having friends at school or anything, I personally could care less, I'm just there to finish and get ( Read more... )

Well life has certainly been a whrilwind lately. My soul is dying and it's taking my body with it ( Read more... )

Well it's been a while since I've posted anything and I could go on for pages but for your reading sake I will try to keep it short ( Read more... )

So this morning, to my delight, I stepped on the scale to find that 4 lbs had miraculously disappeared. I know it's not possible to lose that much in one day, but since I hadn't been weighing myself (because I was too ashamed) up until yesterday, I'm hoping I was just carrying some water weight. I did go to the gym yesterday and burned more than ( Read more... )