Your story about your aunt is really amazing to me; I think in some ways we have had a really similar experience. My aunt Rebecca was the black sheep in our family, too. She did things that no one else understood-like moving away to Austin, TX and coming back a year later with one half of her head shaved, no stories to tell except that she was ( Read more... )

America; you are pulling over on highways in cities to watch the fireworks, the tang of homegrown tomatoes and bug repellant on your fingers still. I am unsure if I am repulsed or in-love with you.

Sometimes I feel haunted. Frequently I feel haunted. A good friend of mine from college who I hadn’t spoken to in years shot herself in the fall, and I still think about her, too much. She had these terrible things happen to her then, but she was so much energy, extraverted, cassanova, she never let on about it… but she knocked on my door looking ( Read more... )

I am feeling like something is moving; a change, a storm, hoping positive action going forward. Desiring to go out tonight, to get around and to visit with neighbors, grab a drink and be available. But instead I'm sitting at home, freshly showered, settling in the for the night. Wondering at how all the cool people live in Asheville and I'd really ( Read more... )

Nearing the end of my Research Methods class, will be sufficiently done enough by the end of today that I can officially say "it's over!" thank goodness. Discovering also how much I am loathe to statistics, and ready to be out of here. Not sure if the next class will be useful and interesting or not, but if I've learned anything from the last five ( Read more... )

Near record highs today. I think we equaled the record heat. I walked for only a few blocks between hither and thither and thought I might melt. School work for today delightfully done early; a new pair of pants and power shirt. I feel slightly more ready for my work to begin in the fall; not so threadbare and out of sorts. I also put back half a ( Read more... )

I find myself wanting to press back into a shadow of the past; that person I used to be, those friends that I used to have. And who are you? Infinite love that I squandered; a time-piece; a sheaf of velvet mercy; those times I fucked you over and you came back, how many times can I whip myself clean? and it's true, I'm a miserable drunk. So glad to ( Read more... )

Feeling my way through this, content to be always the odd man out at this point; I suppose that I will try to get in on the OUTstanding seminar; I contacted Leah, and so now I am accountable, I will have to try to get involved in some way. My primary perogative at this point, however, is simply to get some sleep. To fall asleep, and then to stay ( Read more... )

I haven't slept through the night in what seems like forever. It's been weeks, at least. And here I am, at 1:30 in the morning, waking up with my cats, scared for no good reason, thinking 1:30 am thoughts, where am I going and where am I at? So good at numbing myself to life, lately. Cutting out the marrow, stopping myself at the root. It all feels ( Read more... )

Saw Pandora Boxx and Willam of Rupaul's drag race tonight; Pandora's first song was great; the second was a disappointing voiced # that she had "written" and I wasn't sure why she was trying to sing because the vox were turned so far down you couldn't hear her and she kept forgetting the words. Other than that, it was a good night. Maybe I'll never ( Read more... )