well i ended up playing pulp's "do you remember the first time?" and joe strummer's "johnny appleseed," tonight. i have had very little practice at being by myself with an acoustic, on stage. i'm much better at being in a band; when i'm by myself i have a hard time containing my energy ( Read more... )

so today, at a campus bus stop, i think i was "musically-cruised" - stick with me here - by johnny, remember him? adorable pale guitar twink from open mike night?................ it's ok. let me just say he looks just perfect in a brown jacket, with a beanie pressing the hair on his forehead ( Read more... )

tonight roomie, a neighbor, and i put up flyers for our school's "outdoor program," which roomie has just created. i went along because i knew it would offer me a cross-section of campus that i'd never had before, and lordy, it did. all the buildings where people gather, the buildings that secretly torture me with my cold alienation ( Read more... )

today i was shocked by a beauty, my breath quickened, and i sat on the hallway floor and pretended not to listen ( Read more... )

wow, i've been so busy and productive lately... looking back i'm shocked to be able to say "sorry, i've been busy," to friends and such... that's something i've never done before. eh, i can see good and bad in it ( Read more... )

yeah, so after many nights of youtubing the video for "november spawned a monster," i've finally just given up and downloaded the whole album ( Read more... )

a nap overcame me as i was reading pat barker's "another world" - for modern british novel class - which is ok but god damn how disgusting and miserable are all those people and their disgusting miserable meaningless lives - where the hell is any beauty ( Read more... )

oh yeah, forgot to mention ( Read more... )

today was sort of hellish. it was dominated by my writing an entire fucking paper on anand's "untouchable," in the school lab because my computer can't handle microsoft word anymore. and the writing of this paper was dominated by my fear of inciting the prof's condescending comment-tone... blah, what a cunt i've become. and i'm allowed to use that ( Read more... )

i've stopped believing that anything i do can produce results, rewards, or effects. my place for the next fifty years is to be pressing my face against the glass, watching you all inside with your shared warmth - about every five minutes, i'll turn away with a self-satisfied sneer, and then quickly revert ( Read more... )