i wish i had more control over my emotions. i think im pretty good at appearing normal even when im feeling shitty. i usually just use the excuse that im tired from working so much, but most times i just find myself dwelling on a million little negative things. i really dont have much to be unhappy about lately, but i manage to bum myself out over ( Read more... )

new years date!!

do i dare get my hopes up?

edit: should've known it was too good

dont have to work til 3 today
bored and dont know what to do all day

p.s. i was just listening to the police, and i put on the copy of reggatta de blanc i bought while i was in new york for my grandfathers funeral and i found this picture my mom gave me of me as a baby and my grandpa holding me. man, i miss him

so the other day i was thinking about calling my grandfather to tell him about my new promotion cause i knew he would be really proud of me. and then i started thinking about how it was probably snowing in new york by now and how he was probably hating it. then i remembered the last time i was in new york was february and it was snowing but i was ( Read more... )

if you could cheer me up
i could learn to love you

i am so fucking angry right now

ive never had a dream in my life
cause a dream is what you wanna do
but still havent pursued
i knew what i wanted
and did it til it was done
so ive been the dream
that i wanted to be
since day one

shot down again

so nothing has really made me happy or sad in the past month or so. things piss me off a lot, but thats nothing new. i think maybe ive just become numb to life.