Super frustrated right now. My phone is still broken, even after ordering a new battery. I might have kinda dropped it in the toilet BUT no water got inside the phone at all. I have the absolute worse luck with cell phones.

I am so freakin bored all the time. I am going to intensify on the job search. I don't even care at this point what I get, as ( Read more... )

The times are as dependent and derived as
they were yesterday. I step down from the ladder
atop my stage and walk to the audience, to
kneel and repent, and set my eyes upon you.

I hand you the microphone and ask you not
to condone what I do here, just swallow your
fear and for once open your everlasting mouth.
Do not doubt what you feel, do not ( Read more... )

 Wow, It has been how long since I have used Live Journal? I don't even remember how everything works here. I am going to try to start using this again. 

Where did I honestly think that I was going to be this time last year? Did I even think...or was I just breathing and being drug along, following, laughing, drinking. Sitting here thinking of you and the vast blue that has come between us. The desert is full of rabbits if you keep looking. But no, nevermind, they always come to you. Its been, what ( Read more... )

I talked to mom again today. Things at home haven't been so great. Amber is pregnant again, even after we paid for her to get fixed.  She is due any day now. Another boy. She says she doesn't want Taylor, that we ruined him. And then Peytons dad dropped her off, or rather threw her out of the truck and proceeded to run over her mother. I don't know ( Read more... )

Times have been very stressful lately, and that stress is manifesting itself in every aspect of my life right now. I had a dream two nights ago about Mary, and I don't think that I recall ever dreaming about her. I couldn't see her face at all, and part of me doesn't believe it was her then, but her now, like I was seeing what she is now. His hair ( Read more... )

I hate being sick. I think that this is the first cold that I have ever had and it really blows. Everything else seems to be good though. I have stopped worrying about Nickie. If she won't help herself, then I can't help her either. She is still fighting with Daniel, all the time. Haylea is two weeks old and has to deal with this shit. It's not ( Read more... )

Finally, after so much waiting, Haylea was brought into this world: 6 pounds, 12.9 ounces, exactly 20 inches. Nickie is doing well, although when I talked to her, the pain was setting in cause the meds wore off. Mom was there, which really wasn't that surprising. She was the first one to hold Haylea and she said it was the most perfect baby she had ( Read more... )

I just go around and around in circles, trying to declare what is right and wrong, but for some reason it always comes out to be wrong. The words that I write are torn to pieces and examined with a fine tooth comb. The compliments I give and receive are actually threats waiting to happen, arguments teetering on the tongue. Everything seems to ( Read more... )

Downloading excitement by doing this,
what's wrong? Doing what's wrong, I find it,
the adrenalin, the epiphany, the ecstasy, the high,
my ultimate orgasm. Muscle spasm by doing what’s
wrong.  What’s wrong? Undeniable that this could feel so,
god, yes, touch me there. Make me understand, right there, candy apples
right there...what's wrong? ( Read more... )