I turned my first trick today. The guy was really nice so it wasn't sketchy at all. It only took him like 15 minutes to get off and then i sat and talked to him for a little bit. He told me it was his first time paying for sex and i acted all professional like i've done it a million times. I thought id feel cheap and disgusting after my first time ( Read more... )

Sometimes my fear overcomes me and i start to become delierious. I can't stop thinking about how im gonna run away from all of it. But i can't run. I can't be consumed by your looming stares and your come hither glares, its the only thing that lets me know that you're there, and helps me to realize the real reason that im scared.

Sometimes when i wake up...i sit and stare blankly at the wall and think about how the fuck im gonna survive. I step out of bed and look in the mirror which is right in front of my face when i wake up cause im a vane bitch like that. I stare in to my eyes and try to find something i dont yet know about myself something im probably not going to find ( Read more... )

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Homo-a-gogo was fabulous, i just wish i had more energy. I read my poetry in the street. I met this boy. He was beautiful, deep eyes, small and petite like a fairy, we did it in the balcolny of the capitol theater, it was hot, saw the gossip, team dresch, tracy and the plastics, drank too much, tried to stay awake, made out with rusty, slept in the ( Read more... )

i am very positive that something great is about to happen for me. I have no idea what it is but im feeling it. I have payed my karmc debts, and am ready for whatever tthis world is going to give me. So c'mon Bitch hit me with your best shot. Im waiting...

I went to the junk film festival last night, and it was 6 fucking dollars but it really inspired me and made me realize (again!) how much filmmaking is a passion of mine. Ive always known it but i haven't done it in such a long time that i think part of me is just afraid. I know however that if i ever picked up a camera and just started rolling it ( Read more... )

Last night Amithyst and i did a performance for the camp trans benefit at the hostel. We came up with the whole concept in like half an hour so it wasnt very well rehearsed or anything but it was still fun. She was teacher, I was student. There was live prostetic cocksucking, and i had my ass spanked with a paddle on stage. it was crazy for me to ( Read more... )

Damn my throat is sore...and i didnt even give head last night.

when i stepped off the train a year ago, i was such a baby, i had no idea what this city was going to give me or what i would get from it. and i think back to a year ago and i can see the changes for sure. In my face and eyes, in my survival skills, but as i realize that its been a year and now i am unemployed just like i was a year ago at this ( Read more... )