i am at school right now so i cant check my e-mail. i hate that. our computer is being fixed soi cant do it at home either. lilly had her 1 month checkup today. she is 11 pounds 3 ounces!!she is growing. she is above average. i am fine. i got some new clothes yesterday. not alot. just a few shirts and a jacket. i got a pair of pants but they dont ( Read more... )

i feel like i am doing the right thing. i dont have any doubts. i am just worried what might happen to him and then lilly blaming me for it in the future when she finds out that he left to join the military because i decided i didnt want to be with him anymore. i think he will be okay though. today he was like "what if something happens to me, you ( Read more... )

he really is leaving in jan. though. he asked if lilly and i would come and visit him on the base, he said if i didnt want to come i could just let lilly stay but she is not going to stay somewhere without me. especially if jamie is left to take care of her by hiself. so... he told me to make sure this is what i want cause he is signing the papers ( Read more... )

i dont want her going anywhere without me thats why i am going... so... he is joining the air force in jan. he has already talked to a recruiter. he talked to him on the phone yesterday and again tonight and friday the guy is coming to his house to meet him and talk somemore or whatever they do. jamie is getting a ....i think he said.... eight ( Read more... )

jamie and i are still split. he met me at the bank where momma works today and then we went and got my car and went and picked lilly up from the sitter. it wasnt bad like i thought. until we got home. then he wanted to ask me all these questions like why and so on. and he kept asking me to take him back and asking me to reconsider and to marry him ( Read more... )

he says the money he gets from it is going to lilly. or most of it. he wants to pay off all his bills and get his place then whatever is left is going to lilly. he asked if i wanted it or if i wanted it to go to lilly and i said lilly so he is putting the money into her savings...gosh... i am kinda dreading tomorrow.. yeah i am... i love lilly so ( Read more... )

he has college here on wednesdays so after his class he will be coming and spending some time with lilly. that will be akward. very... but ill get through it. he asked if i would still give him a hug...he better not make this any harder than it already is... he says that he is going into the army the first of the year since him and i are not ( Read more... )

now that i am not with jamie, i feel so lonely. i have no one to call and talk to about nothing anymore and i have no one to tell me how much they love me and i have no one to like kiss and hold and all that couple stuff. and it kinda makes me sad. he called me today to see how lilly was, or so he says. he also asked me about us again, he said he ( Read more... )

i started school yesterday. i forgot how much i hate it. its not that bad since i am not pregnant anymore. i dont get stared at all the time and i dont have ppl giving me looks or making comments or whatever everyone did while i was preg. but that goes to show what kind of ppl we have here. i have had ppl tell me that i look different and that i ( Read more... )

sorry. my computer is acting up. but... yeah. i did it. i feel relieved... i dont really want anyone new right now. i would like to start acknowledging the fact that i have some freedom now. but i dont want to get involved. plus i dont know who would want someone with a baby...k. gtg.