Comments | annamiawarrior: Successful day

annamiawarrior

Successful day

Apr 11, 2008 09:17

Yesterday was a successful day.

A nutritious bar in the morning. 2 slices of toast. 3 grapes, 8 crackers, 1 pickle, a slice of cheese and a 2 tbsp's of hummus.
That was my whole day. I'm quite impressed. The toast was to visit with will's mom. The grapes were at work because they insisted. The rest was my supper.
I think I did quite well.
Then I ( Read more... )

Comments 8

I TOTALLY GET YOU! thin_isbest April 11 2008, 16:00:22 UTC

I feel so the same as you that it's spooky! I do it to punish my big fat body and because I feel I have no control in my life. I also deprive myself because I know people are judging me on my size and I finally feel that I am giving in to what they want becaue I'm not skinny enough or pretty enough or good enough. Even though most of these people are probably doing rec drugs, or drinking or smoking...and I can't judge them back. It isn't fair! Sometimes, when I get to rock bottom and totally hate myself I feel right at home and think that's how I deserve to feel. Empty and horrible. But its a kinda untouchable place too, so I feel safe in it! Am I mad then?

Re: I TOTALLY GET YOU! annamiawarrior April 12 2008, 01:15:20 UTC

It is true. But you aren't mad. The frusterating part, at least for me, is that (just as superchick says) "I know I should know better" Because i know what is and isn't healthy in that sense. So I try to keep it underwraps as much as I can.
How about you? do you make sure to get multivitamins when you fast?
drink lots of water? because one thing a lot of people forget is how essential water can be in the loss of lbs as well :D
Today I had to pee so much but there was absolutely no color to it which means there was nothing in my stomach and it was going right through me. I always feel good to see that :D

jennx32x April 11 2008, 18:01:38 UTC

Instead of punishing your body, wouldn't you feel better about doing it the right way, eating healthy and exercising? You don't want to become ill and weak.. you could be healthy and become stronger. What are all the pills for that you are taking? Are they actually working?
Maybe it's just me.. but I think I would feel better about going about it the healthier way and I'd be more proud of my accomplishments. Does that make sense?

lesyoung April 11 2008, 20:32:08 UTC

Agreed, jennx32x...

I'm sorry, I don't even know what to say. It's unfair of me to judge you and say that what I think you're doing is wrong but I really think it is. I sympathize with you on the hating your body, but you are not the only one. Everyone does at some point in time. Even those model you wish you looked like. I hate my body A LOT but I'm going to the gym and eating healthier and SLIGHTLY smaller portions. You think you're being smart by taking multivitamins and these ID-alGs but honey, nothing but food is going to give you what you need.

annamiawarrior April 12 2008, 01:32:43 UTC

I realize that. But the main thing is that it's not a matter of losing weight. If it just were then it'd not be as ... well messed up because I do know the logical methods of losing/maintaining weight so I know it's not always the best in that manner. It's more getting control of your life.
I know I should know better... but in the end I guess it's a lesser than a few other evils.
It is mostly control though. I don't know how to explain that other than that.
Hope that helps.

annamiawarrior April 12 2008, 01:29:04 UTC

Well, when I am not so angry at my body I do try and do it a healthy way. I'm actually always doing that. i'm almost always exercising and drinking plenty of water. I take multivitamins and protein shakes as well as making sure the food I do eat is healthy. So I'm pretty good. that's why I think I'd classify myself more as EDnos instead of Anorexia or Bulima. But I relate more to Anorexics. although I'm of a normal or overweight body type (at least in my mind ( ... )

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