So I am feel much better now than I was last post. This is very good. I hope it lasts. Its very odd when I get like that, in that hole. I can literally feel inside my brain the chemistry being off. Or I assume it the feeling of chemistry being off, I only say so because of my amateur hobby of studying neuroscience and psychology that a strange sort ( Read more... )

I say dangerous because it is almost 6am and I have been up all night thinking and talking, amongst other things. I feel so terrible. I wish that talking about thing helped more. but really, it doesnt seem to help very much. I mean, it helps to know that the one person who I am close to now cares and understand and seems to empathize with the way ( Read more... )

Hi! Me again. It would be interesting if one day I went to update this thing and realized that I wasn't me after all, but someone else entirely new. Also, I wish there was some way for my computer or browser to automatically put apostrophes in for me. I am sure there is some sort of add-on in firefox for that...I will have to look into it ( Read more... )

OK well, why do I feel apprehensive about making a new post on here. There is no reason to feel that way. I think some of it has to do with the fact that it has been so goddamned long since all of the stuff on here has happened, and I feel like I owe it to myself and to my readers (haha) a bit of explanation of how things have ended up here. I can ( Read more... )

I can't believe the things contained in this journal. I swore that I had erased all my entries, so I never even bothered to look this thing up. But I didn't erase anything. It has been really, umm....interesting to go back and read shit from 2002, 8 years ago. 8 FUCKING YEARS! From the end of Nathan and I's relationship, to the beginning of Miah & ( Read more... )

hi ( Read more... )

so we got an apartment. not just any apartment. but the best apartment ever. its not normal at all. its a one bedroom, and its 900 square feet, which is normal size for a 2 bedroom, so its huge. its brand new, no one has ever lived there before us. its got wood floors instead of tile. its got all brushed metal appliances, which are also brand new. ( Read more... )

uhh...i havent updated in a while. not much going on to speak of. mostly stressful crap at work, which noone wants to hear about, nor do i feel like re-living it again when i get home to type it out. money sucks, or rather, having to save all your money sucks ( Read more... )

so last night really sucked. it really did. i got nothing good out of it whatsoever. i wanted to get out for a bit, just a few hours of something unusual, to reconnect with the outside world for a moment, to unwind a bit from a shitty week at work, or atleast to go out so that when i got home i would be refreshed as to why i dont go out anymore. i ( Read more... )

ok, sorry about the pervious post. i had every right to react the way i did, and i stand by everything written. that being said, i am moving on now, and it really hasnt bothered me today like i thought it would ( Read more... )