Kind of been in a funk lately. Always keeping my fingers crossed and wishing on things that aren't necessarily the best for me. I want to know how you think and why I wait around for you. I've been trying to turn people into something they're not for so long now that I have forgotten what it's like to meet someone that is just naturally all of ( Read more... )

getting ready to move out and can't really remember a time when i was this excited. always ready for a new start. a little confused on a lot of other things. one little wrong move could mess up something big for me, but not sure which road will get me there. guess i'll find out.

what was i thinking

trying to move out and crossing my fingers that it all works out. i don't think i have really ever been that excited for anything. aside from crossing my fingers on a place to live, also hoping that i really get to see you thanksgiving weekend.

"what a terrible mistake to let go of something wonderful for something real"

anyways,
im about to let go of everything because it all turns out the same.

I get tired of you treating me like i'm one of your scripts. You spend time writing me out untill you get bored and push me aside untill i seem like a good idea again. You never finish anything, but at the same time i am allowing you to write all of these pages so im not really sure which one of us is being unfair.

so weird to me that i graduated college and now have a degree. not really sure what to do next.

I really need something great to come my way here soon before I lose all hope. Something that will take my mind somewhere else and make me feel like everything is going to be ok. If that even exists anymore.

I really hope I feel o.k. again someday. I find myself crying over Mitch and the only thing I want to do is talk to my dad so he can make me feel better about it, but it's just a never ending cycle. I can't think about this without feeling angry because nothing makes any sense to me. I just want something, anything, to make a little bit of sense ( Read more... )

I don't want to feel scared when I look at your picture. The bad things are all I can remember and for some reason it just seems unfair to talk about all of the good. I keep forgetting that any of this happened and i find myself wondering why and how any of it did. Some things really aren't fair. I would have taken care of you for the rest of our ( Read more... )