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Some of you may have noticed that the time period since my last entry has been even more substantial than prior frequencies ( Read more... ) -
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Chickens that were raised on McDonald's farms probably have big, golden M's floating over their heads rather than halos after they die. -
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Finding a lost key in a parking lot is like playing an at-home version of the final round of Hollywood Squares. -
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Every night around 7pm or so, the lamp post outside my window gets an idea. -
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I like to send back 'you're welcome' notes whenever I receive a 'thank you' note in the mail. -
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A well thought out gift for a coffee mug would be a tiny mug that said 'World's greatest coffee mug'. -
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Midgets should have to get a C class license in order to drive a car. -
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I wonder if snowmen can smell anything other than carrots. -
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If women really do like men who have jobs, the best way to start a relationship with one would be to ask to borrow a pen to fill out a job application. -
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Retirement homes have an unspoken agreement with funeral homes to give their patients a large quantity of food high in preservatives to help stave off the costs of formaldehyde.