Things I do when I'm given assignments with no guidelines:

http://unix.temple.edu/~jsj/fmafinal.mov

( This is a long one )

Having been wondering for a couple of years what happened to Jesus after he was resurrected, I've come to the conclusion that he was put out to stud.

A short, untitled play:

Act I

The scene opens with a man feverishly
gnawing away at a table.

[Curtain closes]

The end

If someone is going to drown themself in a toilet, the least they could do is have the courtesy to flush.

My gloves don't fit like a glove.

I've taken to artistically/stylistically stapling my papers this semester. Granted, some lack the basic functionality that comes from a stapled paper, but I believe that my teachers understand the harrowing sense of adventure created and contained within.

Apparently when the clock strikes 12:13am I inherit the power to hold thoughtful conversation with the cat and other inanimate objects for hours on end.

Everyone keeps lambasting the election, but they aren't looking at the positive things coming from it. I believe that kids in school will now have a better understanding of the Mason-Dixon line.

Verbal spelling errors aren't as noticable as written ones.

Fat people shouldn't name pets after their favorite food. There is always going to come a day when there is nothing in the house to eat, a day where they don't feel like going out...and because of that name their dog/cat/gerbil is going to look that much more appetizing.