I sort of look like a weird cross between Gollum and Ren from 'Ren and Stimpy' at the moment.  But I actually feel quite good. My blood results were pretty damn good and my mood is fine.  It's cold, but I like the shiny, stuff around at Christmas.  I don't feel as sad as I look.

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I don't know how to get better from a disease that I don't understand.
I'm anorexic.  Of that I'm sure.
I'm bulimic.  I b/p once a day with a damn good binge that I MUST be retaining some calories from.  I purge thoroughly, though, so I don't think its many.

I'm 5'3" and over the last few weeks hovered between 63-66lb naked in the morning.  BMI ( Read more... )

Literally, it does, sometimes.  I do get the odd chest pain.  It kind of scares me, but I'm hanging in still - I'm going to beat this f*****g illness before it kills me.

But today it hurts more in anther way.  My Dad - my lovely , kind, supportive Dad, cares for me and needs me more than I ever realised.  He looked at me today, started to absolutely ( Read more... )

I think the Turkey's a democrat.  Or is the real Turkey, the republican?


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 Ok - documenting progress over the last few weeks/months ( Read more... )

For
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These are in some of the gardens and houses of Surrey and Kent open to the public.  
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I'm plodding along pretty much the same.  Sometimes things in my life - family circumstances, my lonliness and self-destructive addictions just seem too much to bear, but I cling on enough to pull myself together once in a while.  I'm working 2 days a week, still and love it.  I get out into town, enjoy my work (medical secretary and I'm organising ( Read more... )

I've been neglecting my journal.  Felt down, generally, but still taking tiny steps to improve my little life.
My new therapist seems to be very helpful!

She IS very good - and seems to understand me when I try and articulate something that is difficult. - She often comes up with suggestions and "homework" that seem unthreatenng and do-able.  Other ( Read more... )