You know, it strikes me as singularly amazing that I have somehow gone my whole life without knowing this "Heather" person. She is like my guardian angel; no, like my fairy godmother, clad in woolen worsted with wings of tweed, gazing dispassionately at my fuss through a sparkling monocle. Then, with an exasperated sigh at my fearful lack of ( Read more... )

As a sort of break from the norm, let me use this, my blog, to complain about something.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NOT FIND A SINGLE GODDAMN COPY OF KUNG FU PANDA?!

No, seriously! Why not?! I want to watch it because I watched it eight times while I had typhoid in Ecuador because it made me feel good and believe in myself and goddamnit world why must ( Read more... )

Well. Cat has cancer. 2008 can officially go fuck itself.

You know, I've been on a bit of a sci-fi kick, and you know what bothers me? Screwing aliens.

It's like, not only does every creature in the universe kind of look human, or at least like bipedal monkeys who happen to be a different color, but all of them (a) do it like we do and (b) think the men/women of Earth are just super hot.

( Alien Sex, or I Boned the Princess of Proxima Centauri and All I Got Was Eternal Exile to a Hellish Penal Dimension )

Behold and tremble, for I have, through dint of my magic, sent this entry back in time!

So anyhow people, what is up.

Kitty is still coked out, and now in addition to the manifold delights of a methadone cat I also have the singular pleasure of feeding him thrice daily with a syringe. Oh yes, imagine how cooperative he is. I think the reasoning ( Read more... )

The Good:
-Someone gets bitchslapped off a dirtbike.
-Four, count 'em four, Parkour running chase scenes.
-There was no thirty-five minute stretch of exciting music playing while a bunch of people play cards and glare.
-Ms. Fields was a touch of the Old Bond style, but they thankfully refrained from stating that her name was "Strawberry" (and you ( Read more... )

Well, I suppose it's good news ( Read more... )

Anyone who's ever wondered, late at night, what knowing the Touch of Sam is like?

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02052008

Wonder no longer, my friends.

Well, I didn't make a post yesterday which means

(a) I disappointed my numerous (3) fans and

(b) I have lost this nanopomoreabalzukemadelifa thing and, therefor, am a terrible excuse for a human being, a painted shell, a mere mockery of a man ( Read more... )

Since my only alternative is to curl up in my bed sobbing because my favorite kitty probably won't be here much longer, here's a brief character vignette I decided to write in lieu of spastic outpourings of grief.

So with no further ado, read if you love me, Little Sam's First Cyberpunk.

( The Forge )