Happy New Year, all of livejournal! I was going to fill out a new year quiz but then realised I would need to use my brain for that, which is currently in pain from me drowning it with Aldi champagne last night. Also if anyone could provide me with a documented account of how and when I left the pub and got home last night, that would be ( Read more... )

*www.livejournal.com. Log-in. Type in username and password... Incorrect password. Username and password... Incorrect password. Ahhh, I forgot I used to use a certain type of letter capitalisation. Username and password... Logged in. Good.*

It actually took me about four goes to remember my log-in details for a site I used for about seven years. ( Read more... )

First entry of 2009! I'm due a sizable update, and I do plan to do one about how livejournal is still worthwhile, even if I do barely look at it. For now though, I'll say that to call someone a something 'end' is the most devastating insult one can deliver. You're not the entirety. You're not even the journey. You're an 'end'. A dickend. A titend. ( Read more... )

I'm off into Liverpool town center now to take advantage of the fact that the actual biblical apocalypse has arrived in the somewhat disappointing and anti-climatic form of pre-January sales. Hopefully I won't be stuck in a queue behind Pestilence trying to purchase the first season of The Wire for the knockdown price of a tenner.

I notice as I get older that New Year becomes less and less a time where an absolutely massive booze and balloons explosion with everything involved seems all that necessary. It's built up as being a fundamental time of reflection and drunkenness and jumping about and multi-coloured bits of string all at the same time, all the while you're still ( Read more... )

Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and fuck Noel Edmonds.

Not have sex with Noel Edmonds. As if in fuck off, Noel Edmonds. Stop it. Go away. Don't die, or anything, because you're fun in a bearded Daily Express weirdo sort of way. I raised a curious eyebrow when I read that you believe your dead parents float above your shoulders in the form ( Read more... )

Freedom Now Stands Alone.A fantastic article by the ever correct Melanie Phillips. What an exceptional and bold columnist she is. A searingly brilliant, truth spurting pragmatic conservative. She cuts through, or to, the bullshit and just spreads it everywhere. The truth, I mean. One of the few. She's definitely not, y'know, a fucking raving beady- ( Read more... )

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While doing a bit of ironing, I heard this coming from the television, which I'd only put on as a bit of background noise in lieu of a radio.

Krishnan Guru-Murthy: We want to know your views. Were you satisfied with the G-Spot Season? Did programme names such as The Perfect Vagina turn you off? As a man, did you merely tune in for titillation? ( Read more... )

Ah brilliant! Yet another boringly formulaic Guy Ritchie film about gangstarrrrs. Or in this case.. 'rocknrollas'. Fuck off.

Click to view

Click to view

Nice to see a Fast Show sketch from 8 years ago still applies.