I don't know what it is, but somehow hearing about happy couples only makes me want a relationship less. There's something about it that's just turning me off lately and I can't figure out what it is. I guess just a mixture of fear, doubt, and skepticism that I'll ever find a relationship that will truly make me happy. Not even the O.C. warmed my ( Read more... )

I have decided that this journal no longer suits me. The day that I left stephaniedreams behind and came here, was around the time that I realized I was really losing myself.

But now I'm found! I'm nothing if not a dreamer and so, to http://stephaniedreams.livejournal.com/ I return! You can ( Read more... )

Dear Life,

You are beautiful and perfect and amazing. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm so happy I could burst!

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Always,
Stephanie

P.S. I LOVE YOU! 

I was just re-reading my post from the other day, and I am fairly certain that never before in my life have I been as happy as I currently am. I've felt this extreme surge of intense elation before, of course I have, but always as a result of something. A person, an event, a surprise, things that have lifted my spirits and kept me floating on ( Read more... )

I am bursting with absolute JOY! Too good to sleep tonight.

Geeze, life is so beautiful. 

I'm the happiest I've been in such a long time. Things seemed to have fallen into place in the universe and even though nothing has really changed, I'm extraordinarily filled with joy. I feel good about life and friends and being in Winnipeg, and even the weather is finally cooperating. Feeling the sun on my bare on and legs for the first time ( Read more... )

I haven't forgotten about you, but it's just not time to write yet.

Trust me. I'll be back soon. I'm really happy to be home. 

Oh coming home, you're killing me. Mentally, I feel much better this time, but physically, I feel infinitely worse. I would give anything to not be nauseous every second of every minute of every day. I guess I find the mental symptoms a lot easier to control, having gone through them in December and having understood that they were normal. It's ( Read more... )

I just don't want to be honest anymore because I don't like the way the truth sounds in my mouth.

I knew it would be like this, I've come home before, and I survived coming home before. I remember the staring at the photos and the crying and the sound of Justin's voice and the way it felt like nothing would ever be the same and my happiness was ( Read more... )

I don't know what to do, so I'm just not doing anything.

I'm unpacking, I'm washing clothes, I'm enjoying my glorious bed.

I'm afraid of this place.