Have been terribly sleepy over the past couple of days. Slept most of yesterday, actually only getting out of bed for lunch and when my husband came for a visit. Then went back to bed barely half an hour after he left at 7:00 PM. Slept all night and didn't get up till today at noon. I'm still tired, but drank some coffee to keep me awake.

( Trigger for eating disorders. )

( Trigger for eating disorders and language. )

This happened last month, but I forgot to post about it, or didn't care, or posted to my WordPress blog a dozen times already, or fill in your own reasons. I got kicked out of the local DID support group because the organizer felt I may not genuinely be DID. She is demanding I go to a trauma center for diagnosis. I'm not sure I will do that, and ( Read more... )

I saw the eye doctor again yesterday. I had lots of examinations done. First, I got an ultrasound of both eyes. The result was quite a surprise. The right eye had a retinal detachment, which I knew already, but the left eye still had the retina attached. This surprised me, as my sister told me that my parents had given up on me in 1994 because ( Read more... )

Pain. My body hurts. My soul hurts, too. I don't know why. I don't know what to write, but I want to write in order to make sense of what I feel. Tomorrow, I'll be seeing the ophthalmologist and may find out whether surgery could restore a tiny bit of my sight. I guess I have my hopes up too high. I've been preparing for a negative answer for a ( Read more... )

This morning, I almost couldn't go to recreational therapy because the staff were too busy to take me there. When I was there eventually, I made a card using a butterfly die cut made with my very own Big Shot yesterday. It's quite a nice card, but I got a fair bit of help on it. This makes me feel a bit sad, because as a child, I was more able to ( Read more... )

I reside on a resocialization ward, and my husband commented this afternoon that little resocializing is done here. He says people walk around on slippers and in training pants, hang around listening to music all day, or like me, lie in bed. He asked whether any people ever directly transfer into the workforce from here. Not anyone that I know of. ( Read more... )

Well, it seems this site is still working, contrary to LiveJournal. I haven't written in a while for some reason, and moved to Blogger/Blogspot a few weeks ago, but harldy get any comments on there. I was expecting to get more traffic, as my crafting blog, which is on there, does get quite few readers compared to its WordPress counterpart, but I ( Read more... )

I was banned from a cardmaking group, and the owners refuse to tell me the reason. It really kills my self-esteem. I mean, if I make ugly cards and you don't want a blind person on your list, just tell me so. It isn't like my self-worth isn't already down to below sea level. I feel like a huge failure ( Read more... )

I feel sad. I don't know who I am at this point, since I am slightly dissociated. I feel sad about the fact that I went blind. I don't know why I need to feel sad about this almost ten years after I losot my color vision, which is the thing I most appreciated. I know it is unlikely I will ever be able to truly process this. It's supposed to happen ( Read more... )