Its been over a year since I last visited here, and the vacation has left me breathless.  I'm a much different person now as far as I can tell.  Theres now a mandatory two feet I keep between myself and others, this keeps others out of my splash zone, and keeps me from getting tangled in other people ( Read more... )

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Today and the next, I visit the city of beautiful people, Montreal. Time to brush up on the french.

This trip has been unreal. I am in Toronto, Ontario right now getting ready for a road trip to Montreal, Quebec. On my flight, I was the only non-Arab Muslim in the back of the plane and the man sitting right next to me is an Imam who debates at UCF. Abortion, stem cell research, science, politics, and Israel were all brought up in the first ( Read more... )

It is 4am, and miraculously my eyelids don't feel like lead. I have a huge Chemistry exam in six hours and I plan on kicking its ass. The paper will be crying when I am done. Unfortunately, this is completely necessary because I haven't been doing too hot in this class. I am dating... shit I don't even know if I am dating. Well, I feel like I ( Read more... )

I'm on a road shaped like a figure eight.

Shit-ass-mother-fucking-cum-guzzling-piece-of-trash-ass-sandwich!!!!! I just failed a fucking test. I had to do a prep test in my microbiology class, and I did everything right. Nearly everything. I just couldn't discern between purple and pink and round and slightly ovular. Fucking-hell-bitch-ass-slurping-crack-head! I just spent two hours ( Read more... )

Yesterday, while playing soccer with some friends, I found my crotch covered in fire ants. My opponent accidentally kicked a huge mound of dirt (fire ant home) at me from point blank range. With in two steps, my shorts were off and I was sprinting across the field slapping my legs and beating myself. I didn't get a single bite ( Read more... )

Damn, I just searched at least 20 random LJs. Not a single one of them intriqued me or caused any sort of mild stimulation. LJ community, you are lame. If you disagree with me, go to "search" and hit "random." You'll see.

Does anyone have the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler? If you do, could you please send it to me at alex.berkun@gmail.com? I will cover your body in kisses, that song is so wonderful and I want to cover it ( Read more... )