My whispering used to be because of my sore throat now i realize i'm afraid to speak…i have an excuse now to be silent and quiet and not loud and obnoxious.

It won't stop hurting.

So… i can't understand complex emotion. I can't truly comprehend how people use emotional data in their lives. it's a realization that's a little more than humiliating, if for no other reason than that I'm incapable of something.

But the thing i understood is still true. I have to keep people at a distance. I can't trust myself and i won't allow ( Read more... )

I want my insanity back. The Black Fortress and Sepia City. I want the back, accessible in my mind. Without them, I find the world difficult to comprehend.

I don't like feeling. It scares me. And people make me feel and that's horrible for me. I get so tired at the end of the day. I hate this, i think. I feel bad, so maybe it's not hate. So exhausting.

This was Saturday.

Homework? Feel bad.

9amFeeling bad goes away but i don't feel better about feeling bad in the first place.

9:30am I'm worried and I'm scared. I don't like that so i feel bad and now I'm crying and i don't want to cry.

10am I feel unsettled and I'm not sure why.

11am I started cooking and somehow i really feel better. Almost ( Read more... )

Homework? Feel bad.

Feeling bad goes away but i don't feel better about feeling bad in the first place.

Edmond LT. Col. Brother is captain. Saelusaen is mother.

It was a sickening feeling. It almost made her wretch. The slimy feel of cold wet flesh between her toes, under heels, all the way up to her ankles reminded her of tiny eyes being crushed under her weight. She dug her nails into the wooden edge of the tub because if she fell, she knew she’d vomit and then her punishment would be worse.

Are you ( Read more... )

Apparently there was a post that my app didn't send.

So Sirvix is going to be in a tabletop rp soon as Sirena Vixen and a last name that I don't remember. She's going to be a half-succubus sorceror who will prestige class into Archmage. How appropriate, nez pa?

I don't however know much about playing a spellcaster so this will be a learning ( Read more... )