i've come to the conclusion that charlotte is the only one that reads my journal ever lol. 
thats why she is my hero.

everything is kind of fucked right now, but that's ok i guess.
could be worse.

=)

I FEEL LIKE SHIT. and i wish that someone would come and visit me but i know that no one will because no one drives. 
i may cry.

i'm so lonely.

i am falling apart, and i am competely disgusted with myself and nearly everyone around me. i'm surrounded by people but i'm still lonely because i keep things much closer to my chest than i used to.
i dont like this feeling.

i'm so tired. and i'm sunburned so much worse than i originally thought. i kind of dont want to go back tomorrow, but i paid 90 dollars and maybe ill have fun. im not spending money on anything but gas and cigarettes so that i can have water when i get there. and im bringing a fuckin bottle of advil if possible lol. today was alright, kind of fun ( Read more... )

you're calling too late,too late to be gracious
you do not warrant the goodbyes
you're calling too late
you're calling too late.

who would have thought my life would turn out like this ( Read more... )

it's strange, really, that when my life is lying in shambles at my feet, i'm full of things to say- eloquent, overdramatic spurts of written frustration. But when i'm happy, when i'm settled, i don't need or know how to say anything. it's almost a foreign feeling, which is pathetic.but hey.
i mean, of course there are things i'd change about my life ( Read more... )

ok so i have this new addiction to compulsively checking apartments on craigslist, and i started branching out from this area, and i just want to say :
god DAMN maybe i SHOULD move to long island cause there are like 4 gorgeous 2 bedroom apartments for rent for like $885 a month. 
that blows.

stand up, tough up, grow up. deal with it, just do it, who cares if you dont like it. even if you don't want it right now, someday you will be glad you have it and sorry if you don't, so just grow a set and get through your fucking life, because like itor not, you onyl get one shot and it's all you've got ( Read more... )

this is growing up. and this is goodbye to hiding behind the things i've been though, a forever farewell to leaning on others.  i am stronger than i have forced myself to be, and i guess it's time to start doing it.