I've just realised that this LJ is the most obnoxious self-obsessed bullshit that I have ever had the misfortune of reading. I'm going...to start a new one. Watch this space :-D

Okay folks, it's human_is, lets hope it doesn't go the same blimmin' way, although you know there'll be moaning days, there always is :-D

COMPLETED THE IDLEWILD COLLECTION. Oh yes, sex is music, errr, I mean music is sex. Have all the albums, woo-ha, f**k yes!!!!!!! Luuuuuuurve them sooooooooo much. lol. yeah, I've been drinking, I'm cheerful, deal with it!!! (LOL) Dying my hair later, if you're all really unlucky I'll post a picci, hell, I will anyway, so beware the screen may crack ( Read more... )

Crashed at 9am, big time. Depression swooped down and the f**king hallucinations started. I hate them. External ones are deal-able, you know, figures, gallows, the usual f**ked up stuff, it's the 'physical' stuff I can't stand, today I had scars that were bleeding and the only thing stopping the blood pouring out with like a thin layer of skin. It ( Read more... )

Yee-ha! I've been up since 5pm yesterday, can you say 'buzzing'? :-D I promised myself I'd do some studying today so I'd better atleast t-r-y. Feeling cheerful, maybe it's just the insomnia, maybe it's the fact I spent the morning reading romatic chic trash, you know the tripe, girl meets boy, boy becomes friend, girl dates loads of naff guys then ( Read more... )

Wow, is it hot or what? I've been doing absolutely nothing, dispite that fact I've an essay due in on the 18/05, will have to try and get it done during the week, I'm trying but the heat plus 'that time of the month' is leaving me hot, irritible and wound up ( Read more... )

I've gone FOUR days without cutting, if I can make it through today it'll be five. That's a big improvement on one. I know it's not amazing but it's a start ( Read more... )

Feel cold and sick. My own fault, in about 10 minutes I ate four rolls and three biscuits. I wasn't even hungry. This happening a lot lately. It's annoying, well more than. Feel rough at the moment, very rough. Depressed I guess. I don't even know what I'm going on about. Feel fat, stupid and unattractive and cold, can't forget cold. I guess I feel ( Read more... )

Realised I actually told a lie yesterday. Dr.C didn't say out and out that I had BPD, just that I had a personality disorder, the reason I assume it's BPD is 'cause once at the GP's I glanced at the screen and a letter was up re: slippers hill, intital diagnosis, EUPD ( Read more... )

So, I went to the shrink. Got R to come with me, thank G*d, was dry retching and had a seriously iffy gut before I went in ( Read more... )

My head is swimming. My fingers are numb. I didn't cut last night. I dunno whether I'm coming or going. Meant to have shrink tomorrow, will probably, but have to go by myself seeing as R has to go to gardening group. Fine, fine, fine...I hate being so dependant on him, but the idea of going by myself scares the sh*t out of me and I know I'll ( Read more... )