Maybe stopping thinking of your life as of a `lifestyle' will eventually help? How do I do this? you mean maybe I am thinking of my life as a changeable thing?
I think when a gay guy uses the word "lifestyle" it often indicates subconscious insecurity or something along these lines. Just wanted to point it out.
thank you for the remark...it is just because I am native Arabic speaker and I think Arabic even when I write English. lots of times I don't know what the right word to use when I speak about me being gay. the culture is somehow far behind in this aspect. Thanks again for your help, I really appreciate it.
Take it from someone who has an unhealthy amount of envy for others and their perceived better lives; don't do that. Being envious of others doesn't really end up doing anything but make your own life more miserable.
I myself actually am married to another man (we live in Canada.) It took years of dating the man and deciding if he had the potential of being my husband, and there were situational obstacles in the relationship to overcome as well. It took a lot of hard work for us to get where we are today, and I'm sure it was probably the same for your brother and his fiancee.
Concentrate on your own goals and your own happiness and work towards it, and you'll be able to eventually get what you want. Even if gays and lesbians can't get married wherever you live, I'm sure you'll be able to get something similar for yourself with enough effort and luck.
Thank you so much for your comment, I think you got it right.
Gays and Lesbians aren't allowed to live in Egypt anyway but we learn to survive. Somehow, after reading your response I think I got it. it is like being heterophobic!seeing my close ones getting happy moving from a step to another in what I perceive as so easy if compared to my case made me envy them, that's probably why I had to develop these untrue feelings for my colleague.
I hope that changing is something we learn with time.
Thanks for the good humor... LOL I know it is a joke, but they don't do us any favor by taking our right to get married... they even don't let us date here, just like drug dealers, we have to keep in silence!
I want to get married to a man and have kids. I want to start my own family, as much as I know myself, the long term relationship isn't enough solution for me.
maybe that's why I felt this way? maybe I envy straight people for how easy it is!! I am starting to think about it that way: A straight Egyptian can meet his wife in their work place, in a market or whatever, yet I have to look in gay dating sites. Straight people marry everyday in mosques and churches but if I want so, I have to leave and flee to a country where I can do that. even not all countries in the west can offer a solution to having a son not even adoption option! leaving will be like an exodus, leaving the culture, the language and almost everything I loved in my life including my loving family even after I came out and they accepted me. I know this sounds dramatic, maybe I sound silly but this is really how I perceive it right now.
I felt this at both of my older sisters weddings. My sisters are a set of nearly identical twins that both met the guys they eventually married when they were both 18, dated uninterrupted by unnecessary drama or infidelity, got engaged within a year of each other, and married the same guys within 4 years of each other.
I'm incredibly happy for both of them that they were both able to do that, and with each other too. That's a lot of love and I've always wished that I could have done it that way too.
I think there's a difference between that kind of longing to have what someone else has, and maliciously envying them. The first is more of an "I want what they have too so I can share in the happiness they're feeling," thought process versus "why do they have that and not me"?
Thank you so much for your comment and your help :) that's exactly what I feel, I wish if I can get what my brother gets here but I am so happy for him.
Marrying in a family celebration, sounds like a fantasy...
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Maybe stopping thinking of your life as of a `lifestyle' will eventually help?
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How do I do this?
you mean maybe I am thinking of my life as a changeable thing?
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Thanks again for your help, I really appreciate it.
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I myself actually am married to another man (we live in Canada.) It took years of dating the man and deciding if he had the potential of being my husband, and there were situational obstacles in the relationship to overcome as well. It took a lot of hard work for us to get where we are today, and I'm sure it was probably the same for your brother and his fiancee.
Concentrate on your own goals and your own happiness and work towards it, and you'll be able to eventually get what you want. Even if gays and lesbians can't get married wherever you live, I'm sure you'll be able to get something similar for yourself with enough effort and luck.
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Gays and Lesbians aren't allowed to live in Egypt anyway but we learn to survive.
Somehow, after reading your response I think I got it. it is like being heterophobic!seeing my close ones getting happy moving from a step to another in what I perceive as so easy if compared to my case made me envy them, that's probably why I had to develop these untrue feelings for my colleague.
I hope that changing is something we learn with time.
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Besides, I'm sure they're doing us a favor by not letting us get married. :P
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I know it is a joke, but they don't do us any favor by taking our right to get married... they even don't let us date here, just like drug dealers, we have to keep in silence!
I will try that guy thing though :)
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maybe that's why I felt this way? maybe I envy straight people for how easy it is!!
I am starting to think about it that way:
A straight Egyptian can meet his wife in their work place, in a market or whatever, yet I have to look in gay dating sites. Straight people marry everyday in mosques and churches but if I want so, I have to leave and flee to a country where I can do that. even not all countries in the west can offer a solution to having a son not even adoption option!
leaving will be like an exodus, leaving the culture, the language and almost everything I loved in my life including my loving family even after I came out and they accepted me.
I know this sounds dramatic, maybe I sound silly but this is really how I perceive it right now.
Thank you so much for your help.
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I'm incredibly happy for both of them that they were both able to do that, and with each other too. That's a lot of love and I've always wished that I could have done it that way too.
I think there's a difference between that kind of longing to have what someone else has, and maliciously envying them. The first is more of an "I want what they have too so I can share in the happiness they're feeling," thought process versus "why do they have that and not me"?
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Marrying in a family celebration, sounds like a fantasy...
I wish you all luck... thanks again for your help
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