Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 1.3
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1.1 1.2
When we last left the Iridescence family, Passion and Hank had their first daughter, Autumn. After landing in the midst of a mid-life crisis wherein all of her desires seemed to center around divorcing Hank, Passion discovered she was pregnant with her second child. Unlike her last pregnancy though, this one was fairy uneventful. No puking, no mood swings, no fun for me to be had anywhere.
Seriously, the most interesting part in all of it was Passion's momentary fear that she was going to die.
Passion: People die from childbirth everyday. What if I'm next? What if my number is up? What if my uterus decides to explode and it inadvertently causes the next apocalypse?!
Wut.
Passion: Don't look at me like that; YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS! Oh god, I think the baby is using one of my ovaries as a chew toy this cannot be normal!
Your paranoia is what isn't normal, sweetheart.
In the end, Passion didn't die. What a shocker. Instead she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Energy. She rolled athletic and loves the cold. Oh her favorite color is also orange, so she wins the rainbowcy award. GOOD JOB, KID.
And as the family is poorer than dirt, this is where the baby making stops. Mostly because I don't have anywhere to put them, lol. The girls already have to share a room as it is, the poor things :[
I AM SO VERY SORRY YOUR PARENTS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE WHO USE CONDOMS OR MAKE GOOD FINANCIAL DECISIONS.
Again, I aged her up right when they got home. She has such a precious little face! fhgdsfhfd
Aww, look!
They have the same dopey smile! :D Genetics: you make me happy.
Energy: PLAY?!!!
Autumn: *tries to shove block up nose*
Hank and Passion keep rolling a want to have Autumn be a genius. I don't think that's going to happen, lol.
Meanwhile, Passion is still in the midst of her mid-life crisis. Though she stopped with her divorce nonsense, outside of wanting to buy a car costing at least §10,000 (lololol seriously stop your delusions are killing me), the only other thing she wanted to do was "work out until fatigued."
So I sent her to the gym.
Passion: Ugh, why did I want this? This is hard and I can't feel my arms anymore. Are they still attached? This is quite unsettling.
You're never satisfied, are you?
Passion: MY WHOLE LIFE IS A PATHETIC AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT? NO I AM NOT SATISFIED. I WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED. WHY DON'T YOU GO SHOVE YOUR OWN SATISFACTION UP YOUR ASS?
Hey, look, I'm sorry--
Passion: NO, YOU DON'T GET TO BE SORRY. I CAN'T HANDLE MY LIFE. I CAN'T HANDLE THESE KIDS. I CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND INSTEAD OF HELPING ME GET A HOLD ON MY LIFE YOU LAUGHED AS YOU DENIED ME THE PLEASURE. GET OUT. I THINK I'M HAVING A FREAKING PANIC ATTACK HOLY SHIT.
So. Clearly Passion's mid-life crisis was not successful in making her feel better about her life.
You would think she'd be happy I let her finally have a TV, but noooo. I'm still the bad guy here -__-
... Aw, crap. Enter the real bad guy.
Passion: More things I can't handle! Abort mission! ABORT! ABORT!
Hank: Lady, you can't take our toilet; I need to pee! Also some privacy would be nice but it's not a requirement.
Things are going so well -__-
Dude, Hank, wtf are you doing? It's the middle of winter, are you trying to catch pneumonia?
Hank: People can die from that, right? Well, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
Oy vey.
Birthday sparkles!
Oh my god, you are so perfect. Usually I find sim children to be in a perpetually awkward stage appearance-wise, but Autumn wins the pretty child award.
Oh yeah, she ended up rolling the trait frugal.
Squeaky grew up with her! Aw, yay imaginary friend. Now everyone can think Autumn's a nutter as she talks to herself. Fun times.
Autumn: I'm thinking I might want to become a singer, but idk. Do you have an opinion, best friend of mine?
Squeaky: Well, there's a lot of money in that...
Autumn: Meh. Money isn't everything. Besides, so many trees die during the mass production of currency; it's simply unacceptable. Maybe I'll strive to be a Master of the Arts instead.
Passion is not going to be happy that you didn't grow up to be a gold-digger, child. She tried so hard too.
Alright, can we just take a moment here to admit that this thing is fucking creepy? Holy hell, the way it walks though.
What? How...? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU, DOLL. Are you some sort of alien?!
Autumn, completely oblivious to the fact that her imaginary friend may very well have been sent to her in the mail for the sole reason of orchestrating the invasion of earth, begins working on her painting skill. This mostly consists of her splattering paint on a canvas and calling it art.
Autumn: Shut up, it is art!
Oookay.
Autumn spends most of her time at the art gallery, so I guess I see where she would assume she knew what art was. But then again she's standing there 'ooh-ing' and 'ahh-ing' over a stupid globe, so idk anymore.
Autumn: This really is one of the greatest pieces of our time. The attention to detail is magnificent and the way it just spins... ah, yes; this really is perfection in it's purest form. I feel so blessed to live in a time where I can walk amongst such rare beauty in my very own city.
Random Art Gallery Patron: How bad do I wanna plant my seed in that old woman right now? PRETTY BAD, I DARE SAY.
OH MY GOD WAIT. Is that the creepy paparazzi/pedophile guy in the corner? Holy shit this is not okay. I would recognize that bad fashion sense anywhere! RUN HOME, AUTUMN. AHHH.
Not that things are so great at home though.
Passion: Okay, Energy, are you ready to not become a disappointment like your sister is? Remember, ladies don't poop.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO YOUR KIDS? STOP.
Energy: Seriously though, GET THIS CRAZY BITCH AWAY FROM ME! *cue lots of obnoxious wailing*
I'm sorry. Really, I am.
Hank: Since my sperm is apparently not equipped to produce a son, you're just going to have to become a tomboy, okay? First, I must convince you that working out is fun. You'd like that, right; lifting weights and being scarily beefy for a woman? Hey maybe you could even become a lesbian, that's always a plus!
... Oh my god.
Energy: Art!
Hank: ...Or you could become an artist like your sister, because my life is filled with one disappointment after another. I don't know why I even try. *sigh*
At least the sisters get along, that's about the one good thing in this clusterfuck of a family.
Autumn: Where did my sister go?
Autumn: Oop, there she is!
Energy:
Well, okay, they mostly get along.
Autumn: OMG CHILD, STFU. I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF DECENCY?!
Energy: *looking for a fuck to give*
At least Autumn doesn't just have her sister and imaginary friend to play with though. That is, if she doesn't end up scaring people off at every turn.
Autumn: I am going to be an artist. I will paint with all the colors of the wind and save the world from devastation, I am sure of it!
Devon: Uhh...
Autumn: Can't you feel it? Painting is becoming a lost art! Can you imagine a world where you can't look at a beautiful canvas covered with someone's imagination? Can you though? Can you?? The world would be a dark and scary place and I, I for one will not stand idly by and watch as the humans become a desolate, depressing race void of creativity and color. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT MY MISSION IS?
Devon: Okay, you're a little intense. I think I'm gonna go...
Autumn: HOW DARE YOU LEAVE MY HOME WITHOUT FIRST THANKING ME FOR A LOVELY PLAY DATE. WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?!
Devon:
I feel you, kid.
Despite Autumn being a tad psycho about art, somehow they ended up becoming BFFs. They go over each other's house nearly everyday after school, it's kind of sweet. Maybe Devon will grow into his looks when he's older and become a possible suitor? Hm...
Hot damn, she's getting good!
Passion: I know. Now back off and lemme work.
I was happy that at least one thing seemed to be going right in Passion's life, as everything else was still an utter disaster.
Passion: THIS HORSE, IT HAS CHALLENGED ME TO A DUEL! I SHALL DEFEAT IT!
The horse actually won that round.
...Okay, I'm really starting to think this is Squeaky's fault. I swear that thing was E.T. PHONE HOME-ING or some shit.
Passion: I can't get abducted, can't you see I'm tired?
Passion: *yawns* God, you are so rude.
Alien: TARGET UNFIT FOR PLANTATION: FAILED PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING. BACK TO THE MOTHERSHIP, BOOP WEEP BOOOOPPP.
Good. Like Passion really needed another child she couldn't afford.
Autumn: Dear alien race, you really should have just kept my mother. She is more your kind than ours.
Autumn: Ugh, no. That's not true; she's more of a banshee isn't she? Maybe once I find one of those I can pawn her off on them.
There is so much love in this family, wow.
You know, I find it disturbing how the parks around this town are always filled with adults, rather than children. I sent Autumn there to make new friends but nooooo, none were to be found -__-
... How in the heck?
Passion: HELP, THERE'S A HOUSE IN MY WAY.
I don't even know how you manage sometimes. I really don't.
Passion: It's not my fault; bad luck just follows me everywhere!
But you don't have the unlucky trait...?
Passion: TECHNICALITY. Ugh, why me??
With all the craziness going on, Hank is starting to feel like a bit of a sad!puppy :[
Hank: Babe, love, goddess of mine... we're married. And while that has always made me confusingly miserable and happy at the same time, the misery is starting to outweigh the happy.
Hank: Can't we get a little love back into our lives? Have sex? Cuddle? Maybe have a little bondage fun?
Passion: Why are you coming to me and proposing things without the added bonus of jewelry? Excuse me, but if you want me to do things for you than I need to get a little something in return. Do you think I have all the time in the world to handcuff you to the radiator? No. We have kids, Hank. Get your head out of your ass and recognize our time of being a happily married couple is over. Except, of course, if you buy me things. A girl's gotta have some bling.
So, in search of a little love in his life, Hank calls up his friend Latasha.
Hank: She won't even hold my hand anymore, Tash! And what's worse is how often I have to masturbate now. I'm a good-looking man, I shouldn't have to be doing so many solo flights!
Hank: So, I was thinking...
Latasha: Ugh, okay. First of all, I am not a marriage counselor. Second of all, my self esteem isn't so low that I would have sex with a married man just to get some attention. If you're going to continue to be an awkward little fucker, we cannot be friends.
Hank: Oh... okay... :[
Well I, for one, am happy she turned you down. I tried so hard to not have Passion divorce you and this is the thanks I get? Jeez.
Oh yay, more birthday sparkles! She rolled light sleeper and wants to become a master acrobat.
Oh, dear... well, maybe your lips will grow to be normal sized when you're a teenager.
The Legacy Continues Here