I am sad. If everyone was sad to would we all seem happy or would the entire population of the planet just be a bunch of sad losers... LIKE ME.

Body Aches. All I want to do is relax and... read. I had to think about that one because my head is full of styro-foam and it makes it hard to... thing... no, I mean think. My brain is completely dead. I wish brains could be like car batteries. You could just recharge them or recycle yours and buy a bran new one for 8 bucks. Today I would like to ( Read more... )

I can't sleep and now I must stay up and scratch my legs which have a mechanical sunburn on them. that is all.

CHEESE DOGGY! CHEESE-CHEESE DOGGY! You're in my dreams tonight!! CHEESE DOGGY!! Then there was a clundering thud. Clundering is a new word that I have made up to describe the sound of a cow placenta being used as a speed bag for Ukranian boxers. You need to slay a chimp ring. The gas had it in the end. What is going on? Are we all inside the ( Read more... )

Today's goal: Pee into a lemonade container and make a mormon drink it. Stupid mormons.

Today's goal: To punch a little girl so hard she pukes right in front of me.

Today was an odd day. It started with my girlfriend and myself getting into an arguement over me waking her up in the morning. It was a dumb aguement that resulted out of two people merely being grumpy and groggy in the morning. As we were argueing though something happened. I broke down. She insulted me and the pointed words flew from her mouth to ( Read more... )

Sometimes I purposely don't wipe my butt. It akes me feel like a toll booth operator.

Ride the pig all the way to heaven ! I need to take all of your other shoes and put them in a spetic tank to breed in my enamel tooth. Lick it all toilet! Organization in the fullest for the new years twig depository. Tak time ti put away you knife babies. Listen to them as they cut your bread from Daddy. I hate it when the cans don't fill ( Read more... )

Every Spring a little miracle occurs right inside my inner ear. A tiny seed gathers enough dew from my ear hair to sprout the beginnings of what will soon become a magestic oak tree. By May the Oak usually grows to a towering 38ft and 10 ft in diameter. When the tree has grown this big my head is usually anchored to the ground by the roots. This ( Read more... )