i feel like my boyfriend isn't really my boyfriend anymore. we barely talk on the phone, text seldom, and seeing each other? forget about it, nonexistent. i hate the "comfortable stage" in relationships, where you get lazy and say "oh whatever, i know she/he is there, i don't need to bother anymore." and that's when relationships really start to ( Read more... )

the right side of my head is pounding, john is really really sick, i think it's the flu, and risa broke her elbow, ugh ( Read more... )

i had a fucking four hour panic attack, that didn't go away until i started talking to john. i'm an idiot, i should've just called him in the first place, haha. i'm kind of worried that the medicine they gave me is making me a fucking lunatic, i didn't take my last treatment, so i hope i don't wake up with another asthma attack, if i do, they're ( Read more... )

i hate how anxious and uncomfortable i get after i do a treatment. it makes my heart race and my body all shaky. and i all i fucking want right now is a cigarette to calm me down =/ i'm in the worst mood ever right now and couldn't feel more like taking it out on the next person who talks to me. i'm so exhausted, but i can't sleep. my head is ( Read more... )

so last night i got really sick and had an asthma attack and wound up in the hospital for four hours. i felt like such an asshole for ruining new years for john and i, and i cried a lot. i wish i had just gotten a hotel room, then i wouldn't have gotten sick. when i woke up this morning, i had another asthma attack, and a panic attack. my momma ( Read more... )

NVM, MY BOYFRIEND IS GR8 & IS COMING UP FOR NEW YEARS, YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAY!!11!!!111!1!

TOMORROW KELLY & I ARE GOING SHOPPING, MHM.

I'M FUCKIN' TIRED & HUNGRY, WAH.
NAPTIME. SOMEONE BRING ME TACO BELL, KTHX.

i'm knitting the ILL scarf, SO GOOD.

i think i'm just going to stay home for new years, knit some more or something. i'd rather not go to alanna & dave's without a date, and the only date i want to bring is john, so home it is!

i really should stop drinking coffee every night o.O

really though, could it get any better?

"close your eyes, it is all only a dream ( Read more... )

tonight i went bowling with my brother and his girlfriend, our cousins and their friends. my cousin actually told my brother i had to come, it felt nice to be wanted by my family for once, haha. matt drove me, d, steph, dave and chris. ugh, six in a car, not such a good idea. it took an hour and a half to get a lane, but it was fun waiting, ( Read more... )