I don't know how much more of this I can handle... a knot in my stomach, my mind is just going crazy. I don't know what to do. I can't handle this anymore... I really can't...

Why can't I handle fucking up? I'm going crazy... whenever I do something like this... I feel like it's over between us... like I pissed her off for the last time... I'm just going so crazy right now... I can't handle it at all... Ugh... I wish she was up, but it's midnight, and she is in bed. I sent two emails already tonight... I hope she reads ( Read more... )

It's kind of depressing, to look back at old comments that were left on myspace... and just to think, that it's not like that anymore, the feeling isnt the same for her.

Happyness ensues... Spending an hour with Kelsey... who was nice enough to brave the very cold outside weather, just to be with me, made me really really happy... it was an hour too... I thought at most, I would only get to see her for 30 minutes tonight.

I also made 37 bucks tonight!! woohoo... I love drunken airforce vets, who tip 10 bucks.

I dispise night... I am scared of it. When the day is over... and I am here at my computer... alone... it's a living hell. My mind is going nuts, and it won't calm down. I end up thinking of every possible thing that can happen... and I worry myself sick... I can't take this... I know... most of the time there is nothing wrong, but it's not enough ( Read more... )

My mind should be totally at ease right now... but it's not, it never seems to be.

Tonight, was really hard to say goodbye... I felt like there was some kind of untold thing going on, but I am sure everything is ok.

it's done! yay!

http://www.freewebs.com/pattyforkids/index.html

I woke up at 7... could not go back to sleep... thats about 4 hours of sleep.

Pat Robertson, made another retarded comment... so I am making a parody site about him... called patty for kids... when my bank account stops being retarded, i'll get a domain name for it.

http ( Read more... )

You know... it's nights like this night... that I forget everything going on... and I am brought to a sudden grace of happyness and love for the person I am with... It was only about an hour... but it was enough for me to feel great tonight... I love you Kelsey... I have no complaining to do in this journal as of now.

I feel horrible... my wearyness led me to discover other things, that I am just better off not knowing. I'm sorry Kelsey, i'm very sorry.