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Life as I know it
Today was pretty good. Thinking about a lot of different shit. Mostly if we are going to stay together. Really scared about that. I guess you could say that I have this feeling that is only a matter of time before he is going to tell me this isn't going to work. I keep telling myself that its nothing but it isn't working. I love him more then I ( Read more... ) -
Life as an addict
You know I did real good today. I felt amazing and then all of a sudden I got so pissed I couldn't see straight.Not even sure if I can do this shit. I feel like I'm losing my faith. I honestly feel like ever since yesterday, everything just got way to fucking hard. I want to just put the damn needle in my arm. He took my razor blade. I tripped the ( Read more... ) -
Life as I currently see it.
For the first time in a long time. I can see and feel things for what they truly are. I'm clean and I enjoy it. I'm and addict and I know it. I started to go to NA meetings and I actually enjoy it. I have notice that since I've been clean I'm more prone to depression. I'm proud to have made it this far. I would be dead without the family I have. I ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
So yeah it is how it is. I'm trying real hard not to cut right now. I feel awful for being who I am. I plan on changing it, but I can't get past the pain. The life of an addict is not what I seen myself being 2-4 years ago. Never, I thought I had kicked that. I hate being on pills I do but I hurt so bad when I'm not on them. I honestly don't want ( Read more... ) -
LIFE AFTER MY MARRIAGE
Well getting married was a mistake that was worth making in my eyes. I found someone that accepts me for who I am. I really am happy. We have our times like everyone does. I have managed to see through quite a few peoples lies and bullshits. I feel really good about myself no matter who says what. I AM ME! If someone can't accept that then they can ( Read more... ) -
Deppresion
so I feel akwardly deppressed right now... Posibly because I'm drinking for fun and then being left alone makes me think of evrything. I really want to make something of myself. You know I give the best advice but it seems like I can't even take what I put out to use. It honestly is like I'm such a hypocrite. I just hope that I'm doing the right ( Read more... ) -
chapters after chapters
Well I bet half of my family hates me and yeah it was stupid to push them all away but I guess everyone makes stupid descions. Speaking of decsions I made yet another one instead of keeping Brandon after I left william I went with Red. That was something no one expected out of me. But yet I'm happy. Even though he is 8 years older then me. I don't ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
SO I went back over there and it was like it never happened. Brandon and I are still together but I told him that if his sister pulled another trick like that the next time I wouldn't hold back I would beat the hell out of her.
but life is good again =)
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(Untitled)
I just don't know what to do. I'm just so absorbed with my thoughts that I just don't fucking care about anything else we didn't even sleep in the same bed last night. He slept in the bed and I slept on the couch. We aren't on speaking terms but who wants to be. MAybe I'm just so fucking stupid that I don't deserve to live. Yeah that sounds about ( Read more... )