I feel dissembled. I've been picking and pruning and destroying myself physically, and now I feel emotionally unsheathed. The whole time the other group, in my Group Dynamics class, was having their experiential conversation, I felt anxious, trying to plan what I was going to say. Trying, essential, to figure out how to avoid exactly what I was ( Read more... )

I initially headed home with the plan of eating. It's dinner time, and I always eat as soon as I get home from babysitting around 8pm. Yet, walking up the stairs from the train platform I had an unsettling feeling that food I had consumed earlier had not actually settled itself. How could I plan to eat when I can still feel food in my stomach, ( Read more... )

I feel like Greg and I really bonded on our hike this weekend ( Read more... )

My father is one of my best friends. He's an extremely authetic person who says what he thinks, feels things strongly, doesn't over-exaggerate, doesn't bite his tongue, is reasonable, caring, good-natured, and nurturing. My father is an amazing person ( Read more... )

In a few hours I'm leaving the calm, quiet woods of Falls PA and heading 'downtown' to stay with my Mom in Pittston. I'm usually most excited to see her, making plans to go out and just sitting around chatting for hours. Yet, she has a new 'boyfriend' of a sort, who she's only known for about 3 weeks now, and rather than making plans With me she's ( Read more... )

The last two days in Pennysylvania have given me much more than I asked for. Coming from Brooklyn, New York, back home to my tiny wooded town in PA, I want nothing more than to be consumed by nature and simple pleasures. Without much planned except for writing and being with my father, I began a week off in the confines of the natural world ( Read more... )

I'm not entirely positive what I'll get done today. I have a basic outline, but I already doubt that my energy levels and my indeciveness will permit me to do any of that. Number one, I definitely want to get a tan and do some swimming. Why? Who knows. Do I need a tan? Isn't that just for vanity? Can't I just as easily get a tan by simply being ( Read more... )

Greg's gone away to Colorado and Wyoming for almost two weeks and I somehow don't feel lonely yet. I've made plans to be home, I'm keeping myself busy, and I'm going to dedicate a lot of my time to the exploration of my inner self. Maybe my excitment is holding me back, calming me down. For some reason, I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be as soon ( Read more... )

Thai and Chinese are my ultimate binge foods, specifically Pad Thai and Broccoli with Vegetable Fried Rice. There must be something in the sauces they use that makes it hard for me to put my fork, or chop sticks, down. However, I had chinese food a few days ago and managed to pass the test. I did not eat to the point of being bloated and ( Read more... )

I'm being spoiled with Greg time. :-) He came out to Brooklyn last night and we went out for Aaron's birthday party at some ridiculous club. It was really fun getting ready together and drinking on the train. However, I always regret how I act toward him when we're out with a group and I'm drunk. I always end up overreacting about something and ( Read more... )