*It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his wings. But what they don't tell you is, every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire ( Read more... )

Great One Liners1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't ( Read more... )

Ok...Got this in an email and I know it's fucked up but it's just so fuckin FUNNY!

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What you've just said....is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

11 Ways To Treat A Penis

1) You've gotta "introduce" yourself to Willy Wonderful, i.e., "Hi ! I'm Shirley ! Nice to meet ya, big guy !". Don't dive on it likes it's a raw piece of meat and you're a starving pitbull! Be gentle. Stroke him nice and easy. Make friends first ( Read more... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!!!

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BON JOVI CONCERT TONIGHT!!! WOO THE FUCKIN HOO!!! IT'S GONNA KICK FUCKIN ASS!!!

God, today was the first day I tried to go to bed early to get some much needed sleep and I couldn't even fall a sleep. I have too much shit on my mind...Today at work I found out some shit about me that I didn't know was going around between my supervisor and another coworker of mine. I hate office talk...They fuckin talk behind each others backs ( Read more... )

My weekend was pretty nice and next weekend is going to be even better. Friday night I went to my hubby's place, we finished watching Boiler Room since we didn't get to finish last week from our drunken night. Well and the rest of the night we spent in bed...hehe now that's always fun and can never get enough of ( Read more... )