Can You Handle My...Truth?

[baggylettuce]

Disclaimer: this story is not for the faint of heart. If you are pregnant, epileptic, suffer from heart disease, or are a human being with a soul and morals, please read only at your own risk.So, Friday night. My friends Harriet and Sarah have a houseboat, and as a whole load of university friends have just arrived in London they decide to throw a

Comments

[carmine_rose]

I'm trying to sympathise with your post-traumatic stress, but really it's just too hilarious.

I especially like the fact that you would have given him a handjob to save embarrassment if you were still 15 - I so ended up doing stuff like that when I was that age.

[baggylettuce]

Hmph! I have been laughing ever since and I'm putting it in the diary to humiliate him though.

Seriously! Isn't it weird how when you're a teenager you just go ahead with whatever just to avoid confrontation? So bizarre.

[carmine_rose]

I'm putting it in the diary to humiliate him though

Ha! That'll learn him good.

I snogged loads of guys in clubs when I was a teenager, simply because it would have been awkward not to. Fortunately, I've now perfected the "duck and cover" escape technique.

Actually, I once accidentally made some poor guy kiss me because it would have been rude not to. I didn't realise at the time that he didn't want to, and I was pretty annoyed about it once I did realise, til I saw the funny side having been in that position so many times myself.

[baggylettuce]

Oh totally - there's that teenage assumption that because they want to kiss you, you must want to kiss them / have led them on / would be frigid not to.

I don't think I've ever put someone in that position, but gawd, if I have... forced kissing isn't as bad as forced genital handling though!

[jackiejunior]

Oh. Oh. OH MY GOD. You poor thing! That is really, completely, seriously horrible! UGH.

(I will admit, however, that I did laugh a little bit while reading this. But only until I stopped to think about it for a minute and realized just how WRONG it truly must have been.)

[baggylettuce]

I KNOW!!! Boys are disgusting.

(Oh, laugh away! It was awful for ten minutes but so hilarious the next day - what on earth did he think he was doing?!)

[blaireliza]

Holy shit, what a terrible situation! I wouldn't wish that upon anyone! I hope you can emotionally recover from that one and castrate him afterwards pretty soon! Looks like you otherwise would have had a great weekend, too. May he burn in penis hell!

[baggylettuce]

May he burn in penis hell!
Hee! I'm totally recovered, I just keep staring at my hand in horror! It would just never occur to me, were the situations reversed and I'd woken up horny sleeping next to a guy, to take his sleeping hand and shove it in my vagina. It's just WEIRD!

[ex_zombiequ]

That is just so... so... RUDE! And funny. But mostly rude.

[baggylettuce]

Isn't it? Boys should come with warning labels.

[dancerut]

Oh, was I not supposed to laugh? Because I've been laughing at that story so hard. I shall now call you Edward Penishands (coincidentally, I was given that nickname in law school. Please don't ask.).

Good thing that didn't happen the last time you ended up sleeping on a couch with a strange man.

[baggylettuce]

Oh, laugh away. MOCK MY PAIN. I did spend the next 24 hours giggling inappropriately at the oddness. (Stop calling me Edward Penishands! I can fully imagine why that was your nickname, miss crotch obsessive.)

Hee! And EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! What is it with me and guys touching me while I sleep?