if you were here, i would like to think that you would have called me to check in. that you would have understood why this hurts my heart. your heart would have hurt too. your absence is gut wrenching. this world is a terrifying place.

i feel sick to my stomach. it hurts so much. i can't believe it's time. i can't believe it's actually over. but it is. it is time. i can't do this anymore ( Read more... )

i miss you so much my heart hurts.

i feel completely and utterly lost. nothing makes sense.

i haven't felt like i truly belonged or that where i am is where i am supposed to be in a really long time.

here i am 2 years later and the words are the same. i'm older, 30, yet i'm still the same lost, angry person inside. the years have gone by and nothing feels like it has changed. well, besides the new grey hairs, the new rolls and the loss in my life. i'm still stuck, i'm still bitter, i'm still sad and spiteful. pretty pathetic if you ask me ( Read more... )

i've been sitting here going through old posts and i cant help but think that nothing has changed. i thought i had come so far and changed but looking back i see that i am still the same angry, lonely person just stuck in a different person's life. i have a great apartment, cat, girlfriend, job, family, future, etc. and yet i feel like the weight ( Read more... )

i feel so deep and undiscovered. i'm here and im trying to be present. but im not stimulated, challenged or seen. i miss that part. i miss the turmoil and the questions...the wondering what this was all for and what the next step was? am i just stuck in a past true for all adolescents and young adults? or am i missing an essential part of my ( Read more... )

the tragedy of your death hits me straight to my core everytime the fleeting rerealization hits me that you're gone. the hole that your absense makes sometimes catches in my throat and its all i can do to hold back the flood of tears. you are truly missed and loved everyday that we are blessed with another day on this earth without you ( Read more... )

i feel so heavy. maybe its the weather, the time of year, the feeling of lack of accomplishment, who knows. all i do know is that i trudge along, falling victim to the daily grind of making ends meet and trying to find my way, and wonder what the hell is going on in my life ( Read more... )