its been awhile but i think its time. so much time has gone by and so many things have changed but i think that the beginning of a new year is the perfect time to update and add something to this ollldddd record of whats going on in my life ( Read more... )

ps> thank you for letting me be the person that i am.

dear powers that be ( Read more... )

i guess a part of me saw this coming... yeah, call it my pessimism, but i call it my realistic view of things. that no matter how much you want things to be a certain way things never turn out the way you want them. i feel like the complete idiot once again. i cant believe i was stupid enough to allow myself to get dragged into this all over again ( Read more... )

yeah, one of those cheesey momments where i sat back and thought about what im doing and where i am and who im with and it hit me like it sometimes does on random days how amazing my life is and how damn lucky i am to have the opportunities i do at my fingertips. i tend to forget this in the daily trudge through life...i need to start remembering ( Read more... )

and im sad and lonely and just a little bit drunk and nostalgic. im longing for times past. im missing people and experiences that seem to have blindsided me out of nowhere this random night that bears no significance in my life. im just thinking and thinking and throwing memories and people around in my mind wondering where this is all coming from ( Read more... )

that time of year again. and just like always nothing makes any sense and i feel like im back at square one where i started. why do i always feel like i have accomplished nothing? better yet, the question should be why am i so hard on myself and expect things to be so crystal clear? this is the messy thing called life we're talking about here, at ( Read more... )

its not the same. its all so shallow and unfulfilling and annoying and stupid now. and i hate that.

people change. situations change. relationships change. life curves and twists and spits you out on the other end of a crazy road to start it all over again and use what you have learned on the way there. its frustrating and sad yet beautiful at times.

i finally made it to madrid. and in my first few moments of complete silence alone time with the thoughts inside my head i realize i am tired, sick, scared, nervous, frustrated and sad all at once. im alone in a big city again wondering what im doing here and where i will end up and if the tools i have gathered this far will help me out...deep