God I'm sick... I've been missing classes like mad this week trying to get well. It hasn't really worked. Maybe I should miss work? I don't know why, but I have a major problem with calling in sick... Actually I kind of know the problem, I just don't want to strand someone there by themselves as closer. It's not fair to them, but I guess in a ( Read more... )

First and foremost, here's the plan. I get four hours sleep. I stay awake until 3 o'clock when I have to go to work. I stay awake at work until 9 o'clock when I get off. I come home, I pass out. Drastic times call for drastic measures and with my sleep schedule, if you can call randomly crashing hard throughout the day a sleep schedule, the ( Read more... )

So it's 5 am and I'm up again. This is becoming a nasty trend. I hope this bout with insomnia is over before school starts again. I need to do better this semester, this needs to stop. I'm very stressed out though. I'm still dealing with Kaiden's death, dealing with all this pent up anger at people and myself, dealing with family and trying to ( Read more... )

Why is it that when you feel like you're having a breakdown your shrink says you're having a breakthough?

Well I made it back from Vegas alive. The tale of this trip cannot be summed up in one blog. Suffice to say it was crazy and I had a good time losing my money in various ways. Las Vegas is a wonderful city, but I wouldn't want to live there. That's not my scene anymore. Once upon a time I could have thrived there. I caught myself looking at ( Read more... )

I'll get the important news out of the way first. I found out about a week ago that someone very close to me was in a fatal car accident. I haven't been dealing with it well, little sleep, not eating much. I've been trying to avoid dealing with it because, frankly, I can't. There will be another post concerning that at a later date. ( Read more... )

Loss is a part of life. It's a major part of mine. I feel so hollow right now, there's nothing inside me. No sadness, no regret, no happiness, there's nothing. I'm going through the motions. I'm continuing on the track that was set for me, an emotional zombie. There's nothing left to feel for ( Read more... )

I haven't updated this in awhile. Partly because there's not much time, partly because there's not much going on, partly because, well an egocentric part of me knows no one reads this anyway so why bother ( Read more... )

I'm thinking about things that were said to me last week ( Read more... )

I walk to the edge again ( Read more... )