the journey home from arrowhead/big bear/the snow last night was one of the longest trips i have ever experienced. not distance-wise. and i've been on longer rides. but i had to pee the entire time. it was not good. actually, it was great. for feeling like shit, it was surprisingly bearable. i was surrounded by family. edward was driving with kelly ( Read more... )

the last thing i did for the summer was go to idaho. i drove 6 hours straight for the first time in my entire life. montana is BEAUTIFUL. i have no words to describe it. the cabin was AMAZING. it was nestled on this big hill that was surrounded with trees. it was in the middle of the forest. our only visitors at night were a mother moose and it's ( Read more... )

my 20th birthday consisted of two separate anxiety attacks and talking to my dad about smoking pot after having a very heated exchange of words when i lost my temper. i hate losing my temper. i know it'll be the death of me. i always feel the blood rushing to my head before i can process what's happening. breathe in. exhale. control your senses ( Read more... )

SLINT WAS AMAZING. in addition to all of spiderland they played my favorite song, rhoda, to complete the MAGICAL performance. i was extremely intoxicated and trying to bond with bill and ryan the whole night. unfortunately i can't remember if i succeeded. afterwards we ate at greco's pizza in hollywood and then i bought a bong. don't ask me why ( Read more... )

nochella was hands down one of the greatest desert experiences i've encountered in my life--third only to coachella '04 and coachella '07, ha. but honestly... it was fucking amazing. i wish everyone i have ever met had been there. it was GLORIOUS. the whole set up was basically a "let's get fucked up in the desert, listen to AMAZING bands, and talk ( Read more... )

( saturday night )

i've never felt so alone in my entire life. how did i end up here?

last night two troubled friends got a little too drunk in riverside. i don't typically worry about my friends but last night it was different. after i left, edward texted me saying "we crashed." i panicked and called him and he was being somewhat coherent. he said he was just kidding and laughed. i didn't find it funny. in fact, i cried. nick had ( Read more... )

this morning i visited amber's new place. it's in chino. from the outside it looks like a trailer park. and on the inside... it isn't much different than what might be expected from the outside except... no trailers. the little teeny tiny houses are cute though and rent is totally tolerable, especially by california standards. i can't wait. i will ( Read more... )

( YESTURRRDAI )