the mornings, at least so far, have proven the hardest for me. as soon as i wake up, i remember the reality of what happened, and it opens the flood gates of emotions. when i got to work, my sweet lovely coworker asked me how my weekend was and i said, "it was really long. it wasn't very good...it was really hard..." and then the tears came and i ( Read more... )

i don't know how i can do this. i don't think i can do this. i don't want to do this.

my 9 month relationship with dave ended today. it was a really, really hard decision to make, but i know in my heart it was the right thing for us to do. i couldn't say anything negative about him and our time together. unfortunately not all relationships are meant to last. it is indescribable to lose a best friend and a partner at once. i forgot ( Read more... )

all of the following deserve their own posts, but as they happened within hours of each other, i will chronicle them together.

3:30pm:

the doctor that was treating me for severe trochelar pain told me we are at the end of our journey.i had a medication follow-up appt at MGH for my eye pain. i have seen four eye specialists aside from my ( Read more... )

weekend! we put mozart down on saturday, and on sunday i was hit by a car biking in hamilton. i'm okay, bike has a few minor things in need of repair. what i'm most upset about is the fact that the woman drove off after she hit me. we waited, expecting her to turn around and make sure i was okay and exchange info, etc, but she never did. she said ( Read more... )

mozart was put to rest this morning. we will miss him beyond words. he was a beautiful, gentle, noble companion, but he was so ill. i miss him too much already.

"What if the water that came out of the shower was treated with a chemical that responded to a combination of things, like your heartbeat, and your body temperature, and your brain waves, so that your skin changed color according to your mood? If you were extremely excited your skin would turn green, and if you were angry you'd turn red, obviously ( Read more... )

i don't know who reads this, and i don't know for what reason i write or people read it. but i find it important to leave a few words here on this from time to time ( Read more... )

hey everyone! just saying hi and have some time before i go home to update, think, reflect ( Read more... )

taiyou, my beautiful reptile friend, is dying.