i have always chosen exactly what i've believed i've wanted : cold nights driving with the windows down and the heat cranked; that extra shot of tequila that left me nuzzling the trash can, writing love letters to it in red chunks; brownie batter and not brownies; never-hung-up yellow coats; college in the midwest, Morocco, Wyoming, love. i've ( Read more... )

i came here small, thinking i was big. i came from atop a mountain to a place that hid its landscapes underneath the rugs, and cherished those who realized it. this state secretly cradles those who take shots of tequila from the side of a lake we never want to admit is here. does it always take leaving to realize the cliches behind your eyelids ( Read more... )

http://www.oldchevytruck.com/trucks3/zy.htm

i can't write much right now, and i'm not even really sure why i write in this at all. suffice to say, there are moments in life when i feel completely overwhelmed and undeserving of such amazing friends, family and now, a husband.

(ever so far, in the hush, you can a tiny SQUEE of something, the nameless asthmas of the throat of Time) -Jack Kerouac, Visions of Cody

everything is huge for me. i walk into a store where all the tags say made in vietnam and i see rows of women with deferred dreams chained to sewing machines and i feel like crying but instead i just run out of the store. i feel overwhelmed when talking to someone i really like because i feel the present sifting through my fingers and i try to ( Read more... )

i will be leaving connecticut this summer or before! i can't wait! i like new haven, but it'll be nice to live near a beach that doesn't look post-apocalyptic. hopefully at least.

i sit at my work desk like i would where the people are a little weathered and a lot happy and leave the g's off the ends of words. i miss the easy speak and the longlongcoffees. i can't wait to see everyone again and sometimes i really can't believe it's been almost two years since i've seen my friends from wyoming. i can't wait to move to alaska.

as always, i want to leave here and go (and go and go and go):


( Read more... )

this place is littered with old letters and never-sent alcatraz postcards from the seventh grade, full of huge dots for the i's and a's with too many loops.i've tucked myself away, saving it for a hurricane, when there will be a kitchen table i can run into at night. feeling trapped by this country again, is it melodramatic to say suffocation comes ( Read more... )