i thought maybe ( Read more... )

i feel as though i am going no where ( Read more... )

i smoke ( Read more... )

he called me today.

i didn't even know that it was him.

i asked for his name and when i heard it,

i wanted so badly to take back the question.

he gave me the first compliment in months

even though he had only seen me driving by

we talked for minutes

and afterward i couldn't help but cry

i hate him for making me like this

i hate wishing he was here
i ( Read more... )

well to begin my update over a while i have basically been fucked with. i thought i fell in love and thought my life could be happy. aparently i was wrong. love as i have thought does not exist. no one is ever out just looking for some one to stay with its all about who you can fuck. and i suppose when i put it that way i was way too easy of a ( Read more... )

ok so today i saw chris.
not good.
i went up and talked to him thinking that i was better than him i should talk to him.
so i did it.
oh my goodness.
y did he have to be so cute and just make me miss him..
and this is bad..
that whole amanda having a boy friend thing.
it is not good.
anyone want to tell me whta i am to do?

i dont get it ( Read more... )

tonight i made my suicide note ( Read more... )

i am
no one ot be bothered with
i am a horible person
i lie
i cheat
i hate
i have loved
( and always will )
i laugh
i cry
( alone with my thoughts )
i will never be like you
stupid
perfect
"under control"
i will never be like you
smart
wonderful
stoner
i will never be like you
because i can never be
anything worth bothering about

why do we go on living ( Read more... )