So, people have been asking me, how the hell did you ever spawn that kid with the eyes who is Bergil when you seem to be the most fucking sexless being in the universe? It's quite simple. I found Bergil in a fucking basket floating down the river. The eyes of the babe compelled me until sometime in adolescence when it became whiny and I got bored ( Read more... )

FARAMIR AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!

He proposed to me with a rubber band as an engagement ring. ISN'T THAT COOL??? YAYYY!! We already have everything set up. Like, the minister who's going to marry us will be this stuffed snake that Faramir has, George Roger Waters. And we're going to be married in this!!


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Hey look, I'm getting married. Neat!

Ooh.

Pocket calculator.

Faramir is getting divorced!!!!

Wow.

The nice Ms. Larimer invited me and Faramir to the whorehouse to play Hungry Hungry Hippos. Thank you, Ms. Larimer!!! :)

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MOZART:I'm going to bite you in half with my fangs-wangs! My little Stanzerl-wanzerl-banzerl!
[She laughs delightedly, lying prone beneath him.]
You're trembling!...I think you're frightened of puss-wuss!...I think you're scared to death! [Intimately] I think you're going to shit yourself!

MOZART: Oh, Stanzerl, don't cry. Please don't cry...I can't bear it when you cry. I just didn't want you to look cheap in people's eyes, that's all. Here! [He snatches up the ruler.] Beat me. Beat me... I'm your slave. Stanzi marini. Stanzi marini bini gini. I'll just stand here like a little lamb and bear your strokes. Here. Do it.

This is me and Irmo at Faramir's wedding!! We don't know why Eowyn was crying at the wedding... it was supposed to be a happy day!!!!!!! We're so handsome in our gold suits!!!!


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( LOOK LOOK LOOK!!! It's pictures of me and Faramir!!!!!!!!!! )

1. He is the greatest guy in the entire universe!!
2. He lets me hug him
3. He lets me protect him
4. He lets me wear his sweater sometimes!!!!!!!!
5. His sweater
6. He sings songs to me
7. When I violently attack people who insult Faramir because I can do so many things to them! Such as: