I feel myself retreating to my shadows, and mostly because of you. Who was I kidding when I thought that you would actually be happy to see me again? Just telling you the news made you cringe, although you were pretending not to. Your choice of words gave you away, and the lack of excitement said more to me than your words ever could.

Hours have ( Read more... )

I had that type of dream again last night.
You know, the one that portrays exactly what your heart is wishing for...
Even if you won't admit it? 
That sweet one you wish you wouldn't wake up from?
Yeah, I had many of those dreams last night.
All related. All basically the same.

The dreams were so vivid they felt real.
Oh, and how I wish they were! 
( Read more... )

Oh, God. I'm so homesick...

Tell me if I'm wrong about this, but I don't think I am. Is it too much to ask for a simple goodbye from the people I care about the most? Is it crossing the line to want to hug those I am not going to see before I move to Argentina?

...

For me, it is illogical and unfair... I leave in less than two weeks, and he doesn't even dare to speak to me ( Read more... )

It hurts too much. I have to leave yet again... 
Why is it always me? Why do I always have to leave? 
It is not fair...

...

I'm crying in my dark bedroom, clutching my pillow really tightly...
wishing I could stay.

...

It's not fair, anymore. Why do I have to go?
And why do I do this to myself? 
I applied. 
I accepted. 
And now, I have to leave.

...

When ( Read more... )

Life is sometimes full of great surprises...

That is all.

Finally, I have come to an understanding with myself... Releasing my shadows, so to speak ( Read more... )

...to realize how destructive I have been with myself. I don't remember the last time I felt this uninterested, sad, or lonely. I have pushed everyone out of my life, except my family, thinking that the less people I care about, the less I get hurt when I have to leave them. I have sunk deep in my own shadows, and I feel like I have been drowning ( Read more... )

After two weeks of being back, it is now that all of it is sinking in. I hadn't let myself think about it completely... or let myself feel all the emotions I have locked in deep inside of me. But now, it is just very slowing becoming real to me.

Graduation, leaving Worcester, and moving to Argentina in a couple of months... So much change in so ( Read more... )

Bitter endings, and lost friends.
Taking a step forward, wishing it was a step back.

I can't stop crying...

Today is my last day in Worcester, MA.