my summer in virginia was magical. i wish i could go back and relive it. Don't get me wrong, i lost and sacrificed more than i ever wanted when i went there, but i also gained something i would never take back ( Read more... )

oh good old trusty journal. always there for me. Well life is not what i hoped it would be, although im not sure if it ever is. I have a way of building up my life, only to spontaneously let it combust on purpose. My reasoning for writing in this is to try and pinpoint where i went wrong, and to try and figure out how to rebuild a new life without ( Read more... )

My summer in virginia with dougie was a fairytale minus losing my best friends forever and gaining ticks and scabies. Unfortunally, neither returned .Well, okay im happy the bugs are gone, but living without my best friends is dreadful. its beyond lonely.

"Faster, I dream in speeds of ashes
My heart it beats and crashes
I'm running from the truth
Cause ( Read more... )

so jose asked me to "just try" to be with him. i fell in love with him again. and the hen crushed me to pieces. i am yet broken again. i hate him so much. i feel like ill never heal because he has been such an impact in my life. he has ALWAYS been there. and now he is no more. not even friends. i hate what he did to me so much that i honestly hate ( Read more... )

jenna wishes to be known as "peace darling" now whenever i talk about her on here because she is paranoid. so im going along with it.
were about to get into another round of mario brothers and im excited. were on world 3. 

im in howell. i always am when i write in this thing cuz thats the only time im ever online.
what do i want to remember on this winter day. ?
i smoke so much just to forget everything that hurts.

jose loves me.
and he doesnt stop doing it.
i wonder if i will ever let him in again.

im dating a boy named tim.
i would talk about him but i dont really think ( Read more... )

well this is it. this is the day brandon says hes coming to visit me.
its only going to be for a few hours, but its better than nothing.
i am so nervous that hes not gonna come.
my hearts been waiting for this day for a year.
i am so happy to see him.

You never know which way the road is gonna go when it bends
And all I know is what I'd give today to ( Read more... )

You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

brandon might come visit me tomorrow for a few hours. i know its a stupid idea. i know that he probably wont even come, and IF he does come, he doesnt feel the ( Read more... )

Today was grandpas funeral.
it was pretty, i mean flowers everywhere. The speeches were amazing, grandpa really was an outstanding man.
i broke down every time my dads name was mentioned. During uncle marks speech he said how he never understood why God took dad away from his family and then i just couldnt stop crying after that. i tried to hold ( Read more... )

good morning.
i am home for a night.
well its morning now.
my grandpa died last week, and his funeral today.
i went to the viewing yesterday. it was so hard, and i kept telling myself that i wasnt going to cry and break down and let people see because it bothered me to have all these people try to comfort me when all i wanted to do was run away from ( Read more... )