Today is yet another day of feeling doubt and anxiety...now not just about moving. Its all so stupid. What does it take in this world to make sure that you are getting what you really want? Not just going with the flow and ending up with something you knew you didnt want to begin with ( Read more... )

Today there is nothing much to say....woke up late as usual. Wandering around the house with nothing to do. My mind is veged out from some tv watching tonight and the heat.  Mass still lingering in my head...I feel like i need assurance I'm doing the right thing. Its a long way to go to find out I hate it. Its alot of money spent for nothing. I'd ( Read more... )

Today  I've caffienated myself to crazyness...and as aweful as it sounds...I've found a restless peace. Its that part of me that loathes sitting around doing nothing and dreaming dreaming dreaming...I need to find an outlet before I pass out. Hopefully this is a suitable outlet, I'm about to go through everything I own and create multiple amazing ( Read more... )

So,,,,I've found that life cant be what you picture and there is no planning for it, And as much,,,,as much,,,,, as you tell yourself you wont take part in it but live excluded from  it life finds a way to  drag you back in kicking and screaming, Finding that i have such a tainted view  of it all is no picnic. I feel like im barely floating through ( Read more... )

I've been meaning to update this, and I had some good ideas today-- like wether calling people crazy in fun, is trying to make up for your own insecurities.

but thats all im going into tonight now im just writing it down to add onto at some point or another, next time i post.

Tonight I had every intention of reading a little, and drawing a little until I became determined to find a song --that I still have not found. Heard it on the radio-but it doesnt come up. I've given up looking for it after hours of looking. Now i'm running back and for letting amir in and out-he's so demanding. I've not updated this in quite a bit ( Read more... )

 I've made wonderful plans today! I've decided that by the 21's or the 4th I will have enough money to have a car! Its easier for me to have a date set for myself. Positive. Yay!

Wow, I found myself writing the most hateful paragraph about msyelf and my driving situation. I think its easier to say that I hate myself each and every day for not ( Read more... )

Today was a rather peaceful day, that went by faster than yesterday. I attempted to update this yesterday but got sidetracked haha. I also wrote a few lines in my book, none of which i was fond of but its better than nothing, and may give me something to work with later. I et so inspired during the day to write on my book but then when I get home ( Read more... )

Ohh, so I'm listening to another wonderful song by Modest Mouse called People as places as people. I dont know...theres something about it... I think the song is wonderful. Something you could relate to. Very much so actually. Theres a certain part though in particular where the guitar plays ohh about 3 minutes into the song, and ohhh its amazing.  ( Read more... )

As the night rolls on, I have more peace of mind. I'm actually still quite tired and about to go to bed. I'm listening to In The Absese of the Parisienne right now--its such an amazing song. I really love the Paris album from Malcolm McLaren-although the first track is vulgar, i almost threw it out when  I heard it--i'm glad i gave the other tracks ( Read more... )