I know I only post after I see Jacob, but well, that's the only time I feel alive anyway. He left on Sunday. It was heart-wrenching. It always is, really. I already miss him; already I'm beginning to feel incomplete again. I hate when he's away, but I know that it's what’s best for him. He needs this, he really does. But, I did have a wonderful ( Read more... )

Well, I've returned from yet another wonderful trip visiting my wonderful boyfriend. I went down there for his 21st birthday. We had a lot of fun....we went out to eat, shopped, went to the botanical gardens, he showed me around the base, we made teddy bears, we ate at a comedy club...lots of fun times. I always love going down there, but I'm ( Read more... )

Well, I've just spent the first week at the new place. Its nice. Its getting to be more like home each day. I do enjoy the apartment, and I like living with shell, it just feels weird somehow. Maybe because its actually my place and I can do what I want. The problem is, I dont want to do anything. I've been in a bad mood lately. Not like, angry, ( Read more... )

I had decided to start a new diet the other day....well, by decided I mean I was asked. But don't get me wrong, I need to lose weight and I'm willing to eat nothing but grass to do it. Well, maybe. But anyway, I made the mistake of telling my mother that I want to cut back on carbs, but not really hardcore until I move out (which is this weekend, ( Read more... )

So, I'm moving out...for real this time too. I'm pretty excited, I think. Then I get all nervous. I don't want to fail. I hate failing. I think thats why I always give up on the gym...I go and go and go, but I never feel like I get anywhere, which means I failed. Speaking of the gym, my promise to myself to go everyday that I made last week has ( Read more... )

Ok, so Im back from vacation...It was ok. Yes, just ok. The best part by far was seeing Jacob...He's so wonderful, He drove 3 hours and paid 12 bucks just to see me for the day, Awww hehe :) But the vacation part before him was pretty boring. Just a lot of sitting around...some eating and reading, and more sitting around. But it was quite nice not ( Read more... )

I feel like there is so much on my mind that I need to say...but my silly little brain can't form words into sentences and I just get frustrated and give up. I've been dealing with my money situation, and its not looking good. I have no doubt that things will work out...they always do. It just sucks. I was doing so good, then all of a sudden I get ( Read more... )

Well, vacation is officially over. I was going to update sooner, but it took some time to collect my thoughts and move on. It was rough saying goodbye, thats for sure. But knowing I will see you again makes it that much easier. Thank you. Just for being you :o ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel so worthless...Like there is nothing I can to to help...all I want to do is make things better for you. For all of you ( Read more... )

I have so much that I feel like I need to get done, but my mind is full of other things, and I dont feel like doing anything but think. Which really isnt getting me anywhere. It doesnt help to just sit and dwell on things that I can't change. You made your decision, and thats that. Now I just have to react to that decision ( Read more... )