I don't know why some people can't get shit through their heads. If someone doesn't like you (in my case, me), then they just don't fucking like you. People have to be goddamned retarded to not accept this fact. Why is it such a big fucking deal in the first place. Think about how much I've changed or grown. Freshmen year, I was a little mall goth ( Read more... )

I wonder what "my most of"s are in a sense. Who I've thought about the most in my life... Almost scared to see who's at the top but also very cold about it, accept what is there and real because it is there.

I'm on the edge, strong overwhelming apathy, right before the plunge into regression. Nothing seems to be going right. Trouble with my friends cars, both dead and shit, fucked over for no reason. The house trouble now. Not being able to leave when I'm 18 (well being able but not without a dramatic fight). Having to stay till fucking school is out ( Read more... )

So watching stupid movies and taking from them. The whole idea of time (T1 T2 and T3 as examples). First the war came about on its own course, that was absolute, it happened that way, no other way before it. Then they sent shit back to change time. That became absolute, no other way before it, a circle. Then again. Once again absolute, but only ( Read more... )

And I notice things. I acknowledge their existence, their meaning, their purpose ( to tempt me) but no action holds sway over my body or thoughts. So many hot bitches I work with, but there is no lust, no continual temptation, or naughty thoughts and the such. Fucking, bend over in front of me, I think "OH GOD!" but there's nothing really more than ( Read more... )

We work so... I go to work because I am told I need to pay car insurance cause my mom can't. I have no other real desire to work. I would enjoy things like certain DVDs, games, CDs, and then the essentials, and of course my passion, anything involving music: my drums, guitar, cymbals, amps, sticks, books, "historys of...", etc. But all in all I ( Read more... )

Its something hard to understand, but while drifting off to sleep, caught in between the stage of consciousness and unconsciousness, you can see things slightly differently while mainting some semblance of control . You think about shit from experiences. The main thing that thoughts come from, are things you experience, things you've read, heard, ( Read more... )

Hungover, feeling fucked up, fingers torn, slept all day, and I have to wake up at 4 am for work. I hate when I feel miserable like this. Californication.

Doing whats right is the hardest thing to do. So we don't get hurt in the future. So you don't get hurt in the future. I'm so fucking sorry ( Read more... )

I've been fucked over again now and it seems more than ever like total bullshit. I've been cheated on four times, I must have quite the eye. I keep thinking if I should let my rage overwhelm me or try my best to control it. I feel hostile. Everything always falls apart. I don't care, its not sexist, its fact, women are fucking dumb. They fuck ( Read more... )