And the funny part is I still don't know whats up. I slept about 22 hours cause of sleepless day before and the drive to cocoa beach and back. Everything feels dead. Ya ever feel regret for everything you've thought? For all the things that keep you up at night? For the idea that turns you into a mobile insomniac? Ya ever wonder why you think such ( Read more... )

I remember that I get pissed off badly at misunderstandings that stick. When the other person won't let it go, and they got you totally wrong. When in reality I would have done or said something like that, making it not right still, but not so wrong I suppose. And today I feel like complete shit. I'm a fucking dickhead. I deserve no less than ( Read more... )

Long fucking roadtrip of sorts on no sleep. I've been up for 21 hours now, and I've driven about 100 miles on it, aaron the other 200, plus 300 as well cause he drove on the way back. All for nothing really. I was glad I drove at night though, no traffic, was nice. Practicing drum rudiments and 32nd note shit. Carols in some shit I think... not too ( Read more... )

Remember when you told me all the things you wanted to do? All the things you believed in. All the things you said would happen, all the things you said you wouldn't let happen. How much you cared, how much you didn't, what you thought, how you felt. It seems like that's all been gone now for some time, and while I'm usually passive on the subject ( Read more... )

I'm tired of this. About 8 applications I think, and 4 "interviews" and all of them have said to me in so many words, "Fuck off." I'm tired of actually trying to get a job, changing my whole appearance, wasting gas, wasting time, wasting the effort on this bullshit. Its not paying off at all, I'm getting NOTHING out of this except angry. I'm seeing ( Read more... )

It kills when you think of things. Someone just talking to you on the phone and you're totally idle. Like you're not listening to them, you're not even there. The only thing really keeping you on the phone is who it is, or perchance they may say something important to you. People's flaws suck. When you're in that moment you just stare blankly at ( Read more... )

Its funny. Whenever I get pissed off I do try to lash out in person when the people are pissing me off. Or I keep it to myself. But when I'm by myself and people are asking about it I usually keep it to myself... Not everyone else is the same apparently... and after feeling so good. Life think's he's funny.

I walk the way. Past into the fading day. I walk the same. As I do everyday. I only hear. What I want to listen to. I only ignore, everthing that's due. Calming down I walk the way. Past into the fading day. I walk the same. As I do everyday. I only hear. What I want to listen to. Its rain. It rains this way. It rains so much like pain. It falls to ( Read more... )

Things seem like shit. We're practicing like crazy, got like 3 new songs in the works, 2 practically done, just needing tightening, and one that we need to finish. One of them is heavy as fuck, a total mosh song. One is really beautiful, and the other one is just pretty cool. Last day of school was pretty lame. Carol told me what she did but made ( Read more... )

I was told to never half ass something, so when I already started pushing my manager, I couldn't simply let her just send me home, it just wouldn't be right. I wouldn't be able to feel ok. So, I did it like I should, the whole 9 yards, and got her to fire me. McDonalds apparently called later but I was out with aaron and am in no mood to bother ( Read more... )