For those of you that know and those of you that did not know. I performed at ACME comedy company tonight for the first time ever. And I rocked the shit, but I didn't win the evening. Some douche in a sportcoat and jeans won, (how gay is that look by the way?). Anyway, apparently wishing you were retarded and getting road head is funnier than ( Read more... )

http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_4268

This contract is quite possibly the best contract ever created. I love the vindictive nature of it. It's so awesome! It's contracts like this that make me want to be a GM.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2383020

I am now, officially, an uncle. I have a niece named Maizen Marie. She is 21" long and weighs 8lbs 5ozs. She has some dark blonde hair and is all flaky. That will apparently go away and she will get that new baby skin that girls try to duplicate when they are older. Anyway, so I'm an uncle, that's all I have to tell you for now. I just thought I ( Read more... )

I have good news.

My laptop is back from the dead, which means more writing on my part, some stuff you can read and some stuff you can't, because you are probably illiterate, like me.

I need to go to bed, so I must keep this short. I will conclude this post with the following.

"Lesbionic dildo wielding rapists."

Just thought I would post an update because I don't have a whole lot going on right now. I just finished doing my "rehab" exercises for my shoulder. I'm kind of tired now, tired and sweaty, but mostly sweaty. I am definitely what you would call "gamey," right now. And my left eye is twitching and it's bothering me. Well, it's not really my that is ( Read more... )

So I start class this evening. 4 hours worth of class that I am not looking forward to. This better be somewhat interesting or else I will probably shoot myself, if I had a gun, or at least I would imagine shooting myself becuase in my mind I'm not a wuss. And I'm not implying that wusses cannot shoot themselves, nor would I ever actually shoot ( Read more... )

Isiah Thomas cracks me up. He just traded an aged role player for an aging role player who thinks he's a star ( Read more... )

Hey, look at me, I am awesome. So here is a link to my first published article, it's on the internet, so it's not that cool, but it's still cool nonetheless. The editors had some stuff to fill in and I think it worked out pretty well for the most part and if I didn't suck so much as a writer, less would have been changed. Anyway, here is the link: