Its been a while. Im glad that im starting to feel even the slightest spark of creative energy popping again in the vast bog of confusion and drugged-out haze that is my brain ( Read more... )

Without fail, every time I just muster up the courage to share, they end the meeting. Its stupid of me to wait that long- part of me feels like its self-sabotage, and part of me thinks im just some sort of shy and scared to share. But I dont think its the latter too much anymore. Im pretty comfortable. Ive been going there for about 3 months now, ( Read more... )

I swear that same day. This reaffirms my belief that im caught in some damned time warp, doomed to relive the most crappy, painful days and months of my life over and over again. The only way i could describe it is as a deja vu of feeling. Right down to th elast details. The other night I stepped outside, and after months of caring less, the air ( Read more... )

My life as I know it has pretty much collapsed on itself. I find myself now in some half-assed period of reformation that im pretty sure is going to go to shit a few times over again before anything sticks. I can say it now. I am a full blown heroin addict. And I don't ever want to forget it. If I forget it, its going to happen again. And its so ( Read more... )

Im so completely frustrated...disheartened...confused. Why is this constantly happening. At what point did my spin on the giant cosmic roulette wheel land on "Failure. Loser. You're fucked, chief"? I really dont even know what to do anymore. things really were getting better. But all of a sudden everything is for the worse. I just want to curl up ( Read more... )

I wanto write to be able to remember this, but i cant. Words dont come...i cant make them come anymore. To be able to remember this feeling so i dont make the same mistake again ( Read more... )

This thing is bigger than we now. It wasnt but it is. Fucking hell. Its so easy for other people to tell you how to live when they dont have to wake up each morning to the most searing, electric pain you can imagine, shooting through every fiber of your being. All for what? For tar, for powder. All for that. You sweat. Its too hot, its too cold. ( Read more... )

1. I fucking hate celebutards.

2. Society is fucked when it holds stupid bitches like Lindsay Lohan up to be idolized.

3. I know for a fact that the coke they found on her the other night was Jakon's.

Still serves her right for being such a stupid little twat.

Everything is strange and uncomfortable feeling. Everyone is moving ahead with their lives and im...not exactly floundering...but im at a complete standstill. In a sort of self-satisfied inferiority. Im at the point where im in a shitty place, but at some sort of psychological defense mechanism I must have tricked myself in believing that in the ( Read more... )

You said: "I'll go to another country, go to another shore ( Read more... )