i'm getting to the point where i'm starting to hate people. it's an uncomfortable space, but at work, my world exists between my ears. i'm afraid of pain, i've come to realize, and i'm trying to stay away from it as much as possible. i never wanted to go on roller coasters because i knew that feeling in my stomach would be there, so i didn't get ( Read more... )

It's never quite as hot as people say it is and maybe the fire never reached us at all. But the damage can be seen by all those around. The fire rages on and cuts off all communication to the outside world and we burn, we burn to the ground without saying a word at all. Of course you could see it coming, an inside job, something only an insider ( Read more... )

my life has been made dependent on others. i realized this as i started feeling a little burned out, a little more tired than usual. why? i'm tired of waiting for people to make me happy. i want to find true inner happiness and be content with that. my dad always tells me that i need to learn to be alone and not feel lonely. these words are ( Read more... )

my mouth is bleeding stars and everything around me is turning to dust. this world is all a big broken piece of glass and someday it will all come together and then it will break apart again, new fractures, new lines. So I ask myself why do I even breathe? I've only got this moment to live out and my thoughts are going faster than my hands. My ( Read more... )

You're like a feather and I'm the wind. I can only push you, but never hold you.

I'm ready to crack, all the fracture lines are working in harmony to bring about the break. The question of heaven and hell arises, and to be honest, I don't know which one I'd be happier in, as long as it's not this purgatorial life. On the edge, looking down and it doesn't look as far as I know it is. Maybe the fall will relieve me like a ( Read more... )

No one's asked me to count the stars at night, yet you can find me looking up at the stars every night, worrying because of the immenseness of the night sky. Here I am, lying on the floor looking up for the celestial signs to move me in the right direction. The world keeps moving as I wait for something to push me, something to get the blood ( Read more... )

Alone. Ever felt like that? This weekend's been a reminder of how loneliness can definitely trap you in a corner and make you feel the emptiness of the room. My dad told me once that one important thing in life is to be alone, but not be lonely. I've yet to master that skill and I think it might be a while before I do. Sometimes I just feel ( Read more... )

All my year might change. Big changes might be coming.

What is it with me? Tonight is another night in which I've been putting off sleep and the reason? I can't seem to shed these pounds. I feel like a big lump of lard. It's so horrible!!! I've been working out pretty intensely, usually going to the gym 4 times a week, doing 30 minutes of cardio and then doing weight lifting for 45 minutes. ( Read more... )