i know i haven't written anything on here in the longest of times. im just not sure where to turn anymore. im so stressed out that my body is producing sores on my face and in my mouth. i get sevre chest pains, to the point where i can hardly breathe, let alone move, i haven't slept, i mean REALLY slept in weeks (and you can tell when look at me ( Read more... )

NATALIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what time tomorrow? call me!!!!!!
love you
<33

why do i give people the power to make me feel like shit.i called ben to ask him if i sent him some money if he could ship my stuff back to me. and our convoersation was maybe 4 min long, and well he managed to make me feel so miserable about myself that i started to cry. never knew he was an asshole like this. oi vey. i wish i wasn't this way. for ( Read more... )

apparently im a fucking idiot and laides have to be 21 to party on fridays at bamboo. ive been racking my brains trying to find another place but i couldn't. and unfortunatly ive made plans for the rest of the weekend. so you are all more then welcome to stop by b4 for a bit relax hang out, have a few if ud like. just as long as u have a dd. and im ( Read more... )

 i am so smitten its not even funny!  i'll write more about that later ( Read more... )

 a lot has happened in these past few days, well a lot more then im used to anyway lol ( Read more... )

 i know this sounds ridiculous, but man my hair looks good today! and well i don't think we celebrate things like this enough. something like fabulous hair, or great makeup seriously keeps me in a good mood all day. doesn't matter what happens. boyfriend breaks up with you, well at least ur hair looks great. get shot in a drive by, well atleast u ( Read more... )

i lo ve the weightlessness of the water. since i was a child ive always adored and  have been obsessed with the water. its gives me a freedom unlike anything else. a freedom that ive never truely been able to feel fully, because at some point i have to return to the surface to breathe. ive always pushed myself to hold my breath as long as i can ( Read more... )

 when it rains it pours. and im slowly drowning in it.

and for once im not just talking about ben.

i was doing great keeping my mind off of him until two nights ago. he was in my dream. he wanted to get back with me, but shortly after we were reunited something happened, and he died. i woke up sobbing.

last night he was in my dreams too. this time i was constantly running toward him, shouting nothing but love at him, and everytime he got close ( Read more... )